Attachment is often confused with addiction. Since the line is thin. There is a desire of emotional warmth, closeness and involvement. But addicted to people just trying to.
Addiction is "stuck" in unmet childhood needs. In the first place to merge with the mother. The child grows but unmet needs remain. And demand saturation and complete. Someone and lives with his mother all his life, in the unconscious hope to obtain the missing heat, others in search of "malozemelets". These can be partners that "too much", substances, work, risk and play.
enough to merge the child needs until approximately 1 year of life. Then the baby crawls away, i.e., separated a little from mom, starts the separation process.
If you do not happened not happened to be fed by the love and fusion,the consequences of perceived deficits in adulthood:
- the World seems a scary and hostile. Times at a tender age formed a sense of security, now an adult, the difficulty of movement in this world.In the literal and figurative sense. Moreover, women have often shown this fear to the world in a Hyper-desire to have a partner that will protect against adversity, and will give confidence in the future. The result is clinging to a man as a mother. br>
- People often not focused on their feelings and emotions and to other people. But guided babies! Mother is calm, then the world order and the kid in serenity. Mom worries, excited - anxious, crying. br>
- the feeling that "the world is no place for me." "This world is not for me." "Life passes you by. I'm just an observer but not a participant."
- Doubt "have the right to love?" , "can you be loved?"
- Difficulties in building relationships with people: communicative surface and the deeper, intimate.
the fact that our first love - the mom. And the right to life,the bond of love and its manifestations we have taken from age 0 to 3 months. Mom managed to broadcast emotionally and bodily, that baby love is a wonderful thing. If there were some obstacles, difficulties arise. In the sphere of love in particular.
- trust issues too. That affects the sexual relationship. Partner for women (partner for men) is seen as an object. The perception is somewhat distorted: "accept" that this is a live (real)person is not possible. It difficult for women to achieve orgasm, men do not get full satisfaction.
- Food is often something that is nice to blend in,to forget, to be in some kind of Nirvana. Food comforted,calm down.And sometimes food is the only cure for anxiety. A preference for sweet foods resembling mother's milk. Sweet,viscous, carbohydrate that will fill the stomach and relax. "As if mom's around."
-a Sense of abandonment, of universal longing, of loneliness. In the body it can result in pain, emptiness in the solar plexus or chest. Perhaps it is experiencing the baby when the mother is absent near. Especially traumatic was when children in the family houses for a long time did not give the mother. And just a couple of generations ago, children in three months she was put into the manger. I guess the consequences are still the place to be.
before the age of 1 year, we have learned to distinguish the emotions.Trauma in the development during this period (for example, mother's depression, grief) does not fully distinguish between their emotions and others'. Again, communication with yourself and others are broken. br>
What to do with this baggage?
-Satisfy infant needs!
Consciously to determine what is missing and to look for ways to meet.
About this in future publications.
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