“I had a patient with borderline personality disorder. At the age of 16 she tried to commit suicide. Her father suffered from alcoholism, my sister was on drugs, uncle was in prison and mom was busy all these family members.
But for the rest of the family was considered good. They said everything is fine. Going to the people they showed all: we are all well.
the Patient was told about all this with a smile. I asked.
- You have experienced terrible things. Why are you saying this with a smile?
Because if I show someone your real feelings is going to kill me.
Often, the doctor said Leahy, borderline personality disorder and other problems arise for people in families in which emotions are denied, not accepted other people's emotions. Forbidden emotions, is worthless.
You live in terror, you feel bad, lonely, you're sad. But you don't have the right to experience these emotions. They are denied or ignored.- we are fine. - talking in families where the father is an alcoholic, uncle is in jail, and my sister is using drugs.
the Child is experiencing emotions, but these emotions are denied. Then the child there is a misunderstanding: I feel bad, but others say that I don't feel bad. There is a breakdown. There is a disorder.
- is There someone who could take your emotions, silently agree with them? Is there someone with whom you can be yourself? To cry if want, cry if need be? I asked the girl.
- I don't think. Although... I used to have a cat.
- Get a cat.
She brought a cat. The cat was the only creature who did not deny the emotions of this girl. A year later she met a man and said that he was happy.
Later, during the meeting I asked her:
- So what are you still helped?
- I got a cat, Dr. Leahy.
- Meow. I said.
“Now this cat works for me. laughs Robert, he has his own little office in new York city next to mine. There is a little door and a little plaque with his photograph".
Dr. Robert Leahy. Photos from the international seminar: Repressed emotions. CBT-Forum 2019. Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy (ACPP)
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