If the life experienced as "not its own", it is clearly "foreign".
How can that be?
because Of the external limitations that are imposed since childhood. Their main reason is "ill" some kind of emotion. You can't stay mad at people. You cannot be resentful toward mom and dad. It is impossible to give in the head of the offender otherwise will get you...you can't hate. You shouldn't want to revenge. And so on.
And then or emotions are given out "quietly", or they "go", experiencing something more portable and "legal". Of course, all of this is deeply unconscious, it may not even be aware of.
for Example, "I can't be happy/rich/strong, because my mother was not so". And then I find a partner with whom unhappy, but tolerated. Or can't start your own business, no matter how much I try. As a blueprint, only with other symbols, repeating her mother's fate.
Or, instead of angry and offended father, I will for years to blame the stupid boss - and get temporary relief. Or, if in our family there were no actors/ psychologists/ business, I will obediently to continue the family tradition, ending hateful, but "some very prestigious" Institute.
I Once heard from a client that in the gym she can force yourself to walk a maximum of a month, and in the course of therapy it turned out that expressed her devotion to my mother, who worked all his life to wear, not realizing how it is - "take care of yourself and your body."
...a Feeling of emptiness usually covers somewhere in the middle of such "alien" life when the question: "is that all?!" When it seems that, like, everything is living "like everyone", but - tasteless and gray.
the Only "medicine" from a sense of "not-his" life could be integration (acceptance) once banished from the consciousness of emotions and fragments of the psyche. If to take into account the nonlinearity of the psyche, it turns out that the child who once even afraid to admit to "illegal" emotions, still lives inside. And this failure somehow "betray" parents repeated again and again - literally, in every day of life with different circumstances and people. br>
In the process of therapy happens the symbolic game "Otome": when the main task of the therapist is conscious in the return of painful emotions and their present accommodation is with full legalization.
And a new phase of treatment - the formation of ideas about that, "his", real life. But it - already another story altogether.... :)
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