Hello! Tell me, do you work with such problems? And what experience do you have? How is it possible to enroll? Is there a time on Thursday evening? How much is the consultation?
After a series of clarifying questions, sometimes the caller says "I want to write to you your wife, girlfriend, mother, son, daughter..".
In the case of children, I clarify how old they are. "Child" is usually not less than 25.
the question "Why the person can not call and make an appointment?" I often hear the following responses:
- "He/she wants, but is afraid, shy"."He/she doubts, asked me. And I believe that he/she needs"."I'm worried about him, hoping to persuade"."He's busy, famous, wants to maintain confidentiality".One even had a suggestion: "let's you talk to him, but we do not say that you are a psychologist, just a friend".
This desire to "take care" of another is not effective and I would even say, bad for both. here's why:
it is Important that the person who complains about the difficulty, recognized the need for assistance and made the effort: called, signed up and came in person. If he does not, neither psychotherapy will not be effective. Even if he comes to the first meeting, he still will not stay in therapy — you will find a way not to go, miss meetings for one reason lack of motivation.
the Person who records close, the unconscious wants to solve their problems at the expense of another. "Now, if close will recover, become more confident, find a job, begin with someone to chat, stop drinking — I myself will be easier." Spending power to the aid of another, the person does not pay attention to their difficulties, not implementing your desires and needs. can Not be separated, and to pay attention to your life. Real help another is possible when you're online, and if not, there is a risk to fall into the trap specialista.
the Desire to actively take care of the other can be a symptom of your anxiety and need for control. And control of someone drastically reduces the chances of the other, and their own, to become independent and start taking care of yourself. It is a vicious circle.
What to do if you wish to register your close to the reception to the psychologist?
Offer him this option, but don't insist. People turn to the psychologist yourself, if you feel the need.
If you are very worried, it makes sense to come on reception to the psychologist himself, and to talk about their fears, worries, pay attention to what is missing in your life to feel stable. When your resources will be enough, you may be able to help your loved one, if such a desire will remain.
as for me, on someone else's request, I'm not sure for me the client is the one who calls.
sincerely, Irina Smirnova
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