When the trauma, psychological trauma captures the soul of a man, he becomes helpless in the face of any contacts. Whether communicating with others or just with myself.
No words, just no words to Express how he feels. Fear, shame, grief. Wine, Yes... Distrust and resentment. And the pain inside.
And it does not matter where she is, this war was. Or divorce, or the death of a loved one, or a disaster, or actual military action.
But you have to live. So how better to understand what's inside him.
Get first
the Injury changed him. It's not like he was before the injury.
he just needs to accept it for what it is now.
It burns in the trauma, he does not see the world as you see it. He appreciates via experience. Much to dangerous, even if there is nothing threatening. And it makes no sense to dispel his fears, explain that this is a reaction that's not a real fear. He's just can't handle it.
Try to remind people what it was without this experience. It matters.
His personality is swept away by the trauma now. Smeared, smashed to pieces. Buried under the collapse. Wounded bird flaps its wings and beats its beak anyone. And any reminder of what he was, will be brick by brick to restore it.
Get second
His soul is wounded. It is filled to the very top of emotions with which can not cope by myself. He is in the mode of "survival". He is afraid of everything, controls everything. Includes all the protection for what it is. Crying, screaming, smashing, and tearing everything and everyone. Just be patient. It will be held.
Get third
Yes, it now looks illogical, his actions are not common. He doesn't listen to anyone. But he's listening. Drop a drop of his common sense wins. Be discreet and keep calm, he will unwittingly pick up, no matter how "infected" your rationality. Are you the lighthouse, a light in the window for today.
Resists, but still sort of scans the surrounding reality. And it depends on you what will happen next: the understanding and the rational, or the conflicts and the strengthening of its instability.
Get the fourth
He doesn't hate you. Even if he enters you into the conflict and accuses, deep down, he knows what you do with it. Just be there, dismantle brick by brick the rubble, there is a living soul, and she is waiting for you. She needs warmth.
Get the fifth
it is bad. He is one on one with the injury. He is the vessel, filled with Napalm. Your inner state is transmitted to him. Therefore it is better to do as in airplanes: "put the oxygen mask yourself first, then child." Can't no strength to sustain, to support, move and gain strength. Or contact the specialist for help. There is a trauma of immense power, it can fill you.
And try your loved one to be referred to a specialist. Afghan syndrome treated with EMDR therapy for more than 20 years.
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