Leaving on vacation I decided to write some observations myself, which I hope should be useful to those who go to my dear, but, because of their age, or lesser experience behind.
my mind often came the question, why am I constantly unhappy and sometimes just evil? So it was from early childhood, and though astrology found their explanation, all the same psychological reasons for more.
I like a man adult, I can say that the family life is very complicated. especially for adults. They bear a huge burden of responsibility, frustration with them at work, which is reinforced by the dissatisfaction of teachers, teachers of their children to make very difficult. But the most difficult to endure constantly in direct contact with their home.
Before her marriage was like? come home, and you become small. Everything is evolving around you, all trying to look after you, do something for you. And then you yourself become great and have already not only that, to learn to care for yourself in all senses, and to take in children. And it's not easy work.
But back to my family. My dad is not very comfortable feel in constant contact. That applies to us. All.
His dissatisfaction with life had an impact on me as on anyone. I had a lump of feelings I could not Express. It's anger, fear, hatred, disgust. In short everything that he felt, I felt. And appropriated. And with that second hard. You become a fireball. you do give off sparks. children to play with you especially don't want you yourself want first, but with increasing interaction your tension grows, and first you are afraid to show their aggression, and then she just climbs out of you. The house would be to come child and relax. To lose everything that had accumulated on the street - but the house to lose is also not possible. And here is a vicious circle: at home do you put up with dad on the street want to throw away - do not give.
And you shut down, and go down. But if they begin to interact - let the world of passive aggression, impregnated with inability no longer restrained.
And most of your major desire is the most terrible - that dad never had. you just want to come home and not to feel it hanging in the air of constant tension. Don't feel guilty that this strain is. Not to appropriate it. Not to drag it for yourself.
In my youth, I tried to marry intensively to meet the guys - and in order to escape from the constant worry. Something that helped. For the time being. While the usual feelings aren't returned and I began to beat on the head.
in General, it is difficult to a child who constantly blame the fact that parents with him bad. And not even with him and with others. And there is always someone who this all will take and will drag the child. It is easier just to reset.
And then I realize why I have such a "complex character." Yes, the fact that no matter what I did, I will still be with his "complex character". And with each new meeting I will try to show only the best in yourself. A eighth someone will notice my complex? And then I will be free of him.
But the worst thing about this story is that all my life I was willing to wear this "complex character". Ie I it took for your. And never protested against it.
the Therapy helped me to learn to give this "complex character" to whom he rightfully belongs. Many people were surprised. But I wanted no more meekly to hear about my character, and then the sins of others to wear.
you Know what children become the bearers of bad characters? From the fact that when they are bad from the attitudes of one parent and the second to do anything with it can not, is more not to complain, because no support, to me and the anger to carry around. These children silently take down all that happens to them, but in the most inappropriate cases, throw away their accumulated aggression. For example yelling at my grandmother, who loves them, or beaten on the street dog. Or just start to cry when it is well treated. All these are signs of concealed aggression without guilt.
the good news is that all working professionals. And how I know how to deal with it. Because she passed this way the carriers of universal evil.
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