Your child hurt! What to do?
Today dear friends we'll talk about what to do when your child is hurt and he is constantly faced with aggression and conflict, in kindergarten, school, sections, etc. I often have parents ask what to do when you hurt my child? Try to understand and find the exit.the
first you need to understand that all children are different, with different temperaments and peculiarities and we're not talking about families where there were some fatal tragedy, trauma, alcoholism, violence, etc. There is an ordinary family without all the pieces and it has a child who is hard to say no, to defend their borders, afraid to offend anyone and these kids are often the target for all sorts of aggressors in different groups, let's talk today about these children.
What would this fix to correct the situation, the child must feel, first and foremost, parental emotional and psychological support, not to be confused with autonomic care (feet dry, fed, watered, etc.) and control. He psychologically needs to feel that he can help that won't give him what will support him, come, as indeed nothing worse when you feel helpless and behind you no one, no father, no brother, nobody. And you with this trouble are left alone.
often it happens, for example, in kindergarten, no matter how much you tried to negotiate with the parents of the boy, particularly the effect it gives, and this little bully and the aggressor still continues to behave in relation to your child. Turning to the teacher, he nods at you says he's got it, and in fact, if there are no major conflicts between children, especially do not pay attention, first, because screaming)) children tend to have a lot of 20-30 people, it's hard to follow, and secondly, wage a penny, you know (.
And here you can understand their low motivation. And it seems that it is not clear how to resolve this situation.
There is a very common technique I recommend). You call this child and in your ear tell him one sentence, without aggression and tantrums, and tell him firmly, confident and impressive, just don phrase. I am not going to take responsibility, but the point is you understand this phrase "I will not allow you to hurt my baby." I have two girls 3 and 6 years and had at one time also to resolve such conflicts.
Therefore it is very important that such situations do not happen, to help the child to feel, to feel who he is, its boundaries and that we need to protect them.
When the child has his home place, their toys, their space, to which he is entitled, some of his little secrets the secrets and the child begins to feel that it was his. He may allow someone to play with some toys, but could not solve this model healthy boundaries is built of families where the parents either understand it or you don't.
walking with the kids on the Playground with children, we often hear from moms phrase such sovdepovskih Livshits), "it is necessary to Share comrades." And if the child does not want to share?
it's his toy, his bucket, shovel, and is its boundary. He needs to understand that it doesn't have to give anything to anyone if you do not want. If you take what is not theirs, to offer something in return to swap, and if I want, I will change all the question is solved).
And when the child has the feeling that these are his things, his toys, his food that it is his right to give or not to give anything, then formed a healthy Ego and personal boundaries.
many children Have a fear that if I didn't give another kid some kind of toy, something with me no one will play and I will remain one.the
And here a very important point, to learn to your child to educate young psychologist), because in his life he is really can come in handy.
for Example, I ask my daughters, with whom most children in your group want to play? the
Answers - "Is there one girl, with her steady play all".
I ask, "what was that girl doing, candy with toys gives?".the
Answers - "No", she plays some interesting games, and everyone wants to play with her".the
Conclusion. If you want to attract children, you make some interesting game, the rules, call them and they to you will immediately catch up).
And here the child develops a very important skill to analyze and observe what is happening in the group.
for Example. This boy in the group DS - sad, this girl is smiling, this wants to play, this does not want this hero in a cartoon or movie like this or this, etc., those we teach children to appreciate diverse communication and not one-sided, "If you don't share, then nobody will play".
well This is really nonsense, the child's initially are trained to buy from other friendships and relationships. "You candy to make friends with me, you a sweet to make friends with me", and sweets that to end sooner or later, and then it turns out that no candy be friends and don't want to.
And if a child is taught to understand these things, he will have to form healthy boundaries, healthy communication skills with people in his life will help, to defend their interests in whatever situation he was not.br>
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