Agree, all this is quite problematic, especially if a guy and a girl almost the bride and groom. He proposed to her, and the couple plan to go to the Registrar.
somebody may wonder. If the person knows what vaginismus is and can assume that probably the sex in a couple not, it will not be wrong. It is really so.
Despite the fact that my client from Moscow, now nearly thirty, full of sex had never happened, although the trial was enough.
as for the guy, again, someone, regret it and do not understand the motivation of a young man for marriage. But in my experience, sex therapist, psychotherapist and family psychologist, this happens. Sometimes for a guy for sex, as such, may not be of particular value if it is used, for example, to masturbate and satisfy himself.
Or, other variant is possible when he loves his partner, or if she had one. Or maybe for men characteristic syndrome of the troublesome expectation of sexual failures (STON), and some here argue in this way: the less sex, the better. So, it happens differently.
But back to my client from Moscow. The girl reported that they have six months living together. There is oral sex, mutual Masturbation, it's not so bad, but I want a real vaginal sex, especially since in the future I would like children, Yes and jealousy makes itself known. There is always some probability that the man would not stand for long such a situation, find yourself another girl. On this basis, the client is aware of their sexual female problem, and really wanted to get rid of it.
Understanding the causes of an event, I, as a psychologist-sexologist, came to fear girls. And we had to find a rationale to understand the essence of complicated situations and remove them.
the First memory does not have to wait long. Came to mind a trip to the South, and first acquaintance, when she had just graduated high school. The guy was swift and assertive.
Suddenly, in the moment of the kiss, he pulled out his organ and put it in the girl's hand. She was confused, she had never seen and didn't touch "it" alive. She asked: what is it?The guy mumbled something, got everything in place. The meeting quickly went "in there", and more communication was not.
We erased this episode from my client from Moscow, removing the confusion of the girls. Everything was unnecessary.
Next, came the fear of penetration, and the thought: what will people think? Here the culprit was the stories of my grandmother and mother about all sorts of obscure, unpleasant and frightening stories, plus comments both on the topic of sex.
Naturally, this information, I easily eliminated from the memoirs.
Then, a childhood memory, something already a classic, called: "the game in the hospital", which happened with my cousin. Came, the same grandmother who shamed girl.
And in the end of our work, I, as a sexologist, psychotherapist, and family psychologist, has been the subject of avoidance of sex. We made a number of changes. The desire to escape from problems (to avoid defloration) and the pain was replaced by a positive attitude and desire sex. "I can't live a normal sex life" (the basis of this was cowardice) we have corrected the joy and desire to have fun.
soon, we still have work to change behavior, and response of the girl during sex. Today's sex therapy will go in plus, everything will already be much faster, and hopefully that will give a positive result.
P. S. This article is fictional and real characters is irrelevant.
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