the
!
the Famous phrase! By becoming human, the Balls thus responded to the dressing pants. The phrase that is often heard dog Ball, later in life, newly made Professor Preobrazhensky person pop up every now and then in memory.
So there are settings that gives the child the parent. Especially if they are spoken very often in the affirmative form. They will always make themselves known. In the future. Will influence unconsciously, the destiny and the quality of your life.
My grandmother is 80. When I stayed there for a few days, one day over lunch she told me that I usually her a lot is poured into a dish. I told her that she can eat as much as he wants. "I was taught to eat everything!"-followed an objection. Just think of these words! Already long dead those who have been taught. She is the owner of his life, but inspired her more than 75 years ago are still working! By the way, these beliefs led my grandmother to excess weight.
of Course, you may not remember that I warned you parents in childhood. Although it so happens that vivid memories come up in sleep or during a conversation about his childhood, when meeting with familiar people. It's good if so. But it is not always important. More important is analyzing complex situations in which you fell as a child and now find yourself, and the feelings that accompany them. It can be frequent injuries, aggressiveness, inability to stand up for themselves, the inability to break down stereotypes, hope to other people that someone will come and do for you, the inability to bring the case to the end, abandonment issues, etc.
Usually life's problems and negative attitudes go hand in hand. Discussed in this article is about negative attitudes.
Let's deal with the main groups of negative beliefs, several of them. All the abundance of negative attitudes can be grouped. Interesting and logical variant of systematization of negative attitudes give Mary and Robert Goulding. They call the installation Directive. Which in other words means a prescription on which to live. Of course they have described the American version. In Russia, the parents no less enjoyed Directive. So in this article I used the basic theoretical calculations from the book of Golding, and cited examples from their practices and their clients.
First and, in my opinion, the worst of the injunction is: "do Not live"...
it is a terrible belief that when a child feels that he is unwelcome in this family, didn't want it.
This Directive is taught by parents who didn't plan the baby, it turned out, and the abortion is too late. Or pregnant woman was in a difficult situation when the father of the child was abandoned, when parents have been taught by a woman - "will bring in the hem - I'll kill you!" and deprived of their support. A woman was forced to become self-reliant and provide for their child and themselves, while remaining itself internally immature, not ready for parenthood.
Another option: children for this mother, in principle, not promise anything good, it's endless bustle, chores, washing, cooking, cleaning, runny noses and sleepless nights. But it is necessary to have them (to whom?). Such mothers give birth to children, then distanciruemsa them from coldness. Children are very subtly feel the mood of their loved one, they are aligned with the mother, as it is in infancy is their border. Naturally such a lack of feeling for the child is detrimental, since it does not develop the soul, and only learns to adapt. As the germ of the wheat will wither without water and light.
What words parents say to their child:
One man told the story of his birth, which is the heritage of all relatives and his friends. He's 3 son's account, the mother got pregnant by accident and have already agreed about abortion, but childless neighbor persuaded her to give birth. Subsequently, the mother berating him for his pranks, said: "I wish I didn't have the abortion!" The consequences of this ugly, even inhuman history is deplorable. This men problems with a sense of self-preservation and the alcohol, he often travels in front of the train, on the red, or very drunk. It is also unable to establish relationships with women, always has different mistresses in the presence of 2 young wife. He could not find his place in life, constantly changing activity, but nothing in life gave him satisfaction.
Significant the person does everything that the daughter constantly felt an unearthly sense of gratitude for their efforts and flour.
If you look at the category of gratitude - ingratitude, it is guilt behind such moral concepts. Why? Because we all do everything for yourself.
If a child wants in life is something other than a parent, this is every time regret as a parent: "So ungrateful, I for her life do not regret, as it..." it is this sense of stopping an adult in the future to see the meaning of my life.
I had a client-a boy 11 years old,an a student, an athlete that is constantly busy, has big goals in life, and it has in real life a single minute of free time. This boy is convinced that he, in fact, a zero without a stick that his success in school is only the merit of his parents (genes). So he's already at that age can't say no, doesn't know how to make friends and prone to lots of fears, and the aggression produces on the weak and defenseless.
Let's consider the deeper, true meaning of this destructive beliefs.
1. Immature parent on the child shifts the responsibility for its birth.
you Have to understand that the meaning of the birth mother to satisfy their maternal instinct for a father to extend the rod.
no child asks him to give birth. So it is ALWAYS the responsibility lies with the parents, as if they didn't want her to push on the fragile shoulders. It is always easier to find a scapegoat than to solve their complex adults tasks.
the consequences of such a Directive?
1. Suicide. Child is a child makes a disappointing conclusion, "I wish I was never born!", that pushes him directly or indirectly to suicide. In adulthood these people choose alcohol, drugs, Smoking, overeating. This is nothing like the road to destruction.
2. Rowdy behavior. The child should feel guilty for exactly the broken vase or the nose of a neighbor than some unknown constant painful sense of guilt.
3. Frequent injuries and illness. They interfere with the child be sold, and are forced to depend increasingly on loved ones.
How to understand whether you have this setup?
If you have received such a setup, it's possible:
This setting is the most destructive and poorly self-correcting. The best option is professional help. Remember all the action that you are destroying yourself and your destiny, write it down. And move the records to a professional that is an effective way to solve your problem.
About the other negative attitudes read the following publications.
You disagree with me? Give your opinion in the comments.
7 may at 19.00 Decide on your question - get rid of your negative attitudes. On my webinar "a New life. Down with negative attitudes" all the details are here: http://bratkova.com/tng/up/otkrytyj-seminar-doloj-negativnye-ustanovki/
So there are settings that gives the child the parent. Especially if they are spoken very often in the affirmative form. They will always make themselves known. In the future. Will influence unconsciously, the destiny and the quality of your life.
My grandmother is 80. When I stayed there for a few days, one day over lunch she told me that I usually her a lot is poured into a dish. I told her that she can eat as much as he wants. "I was taught to eat everything!"-followed an objection. Just think of these words! Already long dead those who have been taught. She is the owner of his life, but inspired her more than 75 years ago are still working! By the way, these beliefs led my grandmother to excess weight.
of Course, you may not remember that I warned you parents in childhood. Although it so happens that vivid memories come up in sleep or during a conversation about his childhood, when meeting with familiar people. It's good if so. But it is not always important. More important is analyzing complex situations in which you fell as a child and now find yourself, and the feelings that accompany them. It can be frequent injuries, aggressiveness, inability to stand up for themselves, the inability to break down stereotypes, hope to other people that someone will come and do for you, the inability to bring the case to the end, abandonment issues, etc.
Usually life's problems and negative attitudes go hand in hand. Discussed in this article is about negative attitudes.
Let's deal with the main groups of negative beliefs, several of them. All the abundance of negative attitudes can be grouped. Interesting and logical variant of systematization of negative attitudes give Mary and Robert Goulding. They call the installation Directive. Which in other words means a prescription on which to live. Of course they have described the American version. In Russia, the parents no less enjoyed Directive. So in this article I used the basic theoretical calculations from the book of Golding, and cited examples from their practices and their clients.
First and, in my opinion, the worst of the injunction is: "do Not live"...
it is a terrible belief that when a child feels that he is unwelcome in this family, didn't want it.
This Directive is taught by parents who didn't plan the baby, it turned out, and the abortion is too late. Or pregnant woman was in a difficult situation when the father of the child was abandoned, when parents have been taught by a woman - "will bring in the hem - I'll kill you!" and deprived of their support. A woman was forced to become self-reliant and provide for their child and themselves, while remaining itself internally immature, not ready for parenthood.
Another option: children for this mother, in principle, not promise anything good, it's endless bustle, chores, washing, cooking, cleaning, runny noses and sleepless nights. But it is necessary to have them (to whom?). Such mothers give birth to children, then distanciruemsa them from coldness. Children are very subtly feel the mood of their loved one, they are aligned with the mother, as it is in infancy is their border. Naturally such a lack of feeling for the child is detrimental, since it does not develop the soul, and only learns to adapt. As the germ of the wheat will wither without water and light.
What words parents say to their child:
- "So you fail..."
- "I don't want such a bad girl..."
- "I'll take you back there where you found it"...
- "All don't want to listen to you!"
- "How I experienced troubles when you were born into the light"
- "don't want you, you don't love me..."
- "up To 6 years never called you a Warbler, thought you were going to die because of this"
- "I'm not married (never had a career, not money, not gone to the city of dreams, etc.) because of you."
- "You're shameless, I for your sake try, and me no respect!"
- "I'm so tired from you..."
- "If I knew that this will grow, I never gave birth!"
- "Will behave badly will put you in an orphanage" etc.
One man told the story of his birth, which is the heritage of all relatives and his friends. He's 3 son's account, the mother got pregnant by accident and have already agreed about abortion, but childless neighbor persuaded her to give birth. Subsequently, the mother berating him for his pranks, said: "I wish I didn't have the abortion!" The consequences of this ugly, even inhuman history is deplorable. This men problems with a sense of self-preservation and the alcohol, he often travels in front of the train, on the red, or very drunk. It is also unable to establish relationships with women, always has different mistresses in the presence of 2 young wife. He could not find his place in life, constantly changing activity, but nothing in life gave him satisfaction.
Significant the person does everything that the daughter constantly felt an unearthly sense of gratitude for their efforts and flour.
If you look at the category of gratitude - ingratitude, it is guilt behind such moral concepts. Why? Because we all do everything for yourself.
If a child wants in life is something other than a parent, this is every time regret as a parent: "So ungrateful, I for her life do not regret, as it..." it is this sense of stopping an adult in the future to see the meaning of my life.
I had a client-a boy 11 years old,an a student, an athlete that is constantly busy, has big goals in life, and it has in real life a single minute of free time. This boy is convinced that he, in fact, a zero without a stick that his success in school is only the merit of his parents (genes). So he's already at that age can't say no, doesn't know how to make friends and prone to lots of fears, and the aggression produces on the weak and defenseless.
Let's consider the deeper, true meaning of this destructive beliefs.
1. Immature parent on the child shifts the responsibility for its birth.
you Have to understand that the meaning of the birth mother to satisfy their maternal instinct for a father to extend the rod.
no child asks him to give birth. So it is ALWAYS the responsibility lies with the parents, as if they didn't want her to push on the fragile shoulders. It is always easier to find a scapegoat than to solve their complex adults tasks.
the consequences of such a Directive?
1. Suicide. Child is a child makes a disappointing conclusion, "I wish I was never born!", that pushes him directly or indirectly to suicide. In adulthood these people choose alcohol, drugs, Smoking, overeating. This is nothing like the road to destruction.
2. Rowdy behavior. The child should feel guilty for exactly the broken vase or the nose of a neighbor than some unknown constant painful sense of guilt.
3. Frequent injuries and illness. They interfere with the child be sold, and are forced to depend increasingly on loved ones.
How to understand whether you have this setup?
If you have received such a setup, it's possible:
- you Have not got on the case, you are successful in life.
- You can't adequately assess, "I am the great I - void"
- you Have relationship problems as you want to trust someone and can't believe it's possible. So all around you in some enemies.
- You are constantly travelwares, so you have no time to adapt to the realities of life, because it makes sense to constantly maintain health.
- you Have dependency on alcohol, drugs, adrenaline, obtained, for example, from extreme sports, etc.
- it is difficult to see the meaning of life, you live one day, momentary pleasures. There is fear of the future.
- there is a desire to constantly prove its importance (professional, sexual, etc.), etc.
This setting is the most destructive and poorly self-correcting. The best option is professional help. Remember all the action that you are destroying yourself and your destiny, write it down. And move the records to a professional that is an effective way to solve your problem.
About the other negative attitudes read the following publications.
You disagree with me? Give your opinion in the comments.
7 may at 19.00 Decide on your question - get rid of your negative attitudes. On my webinar "a New life. Down with negative attitudes" all the details are here: http://bratkova.com/tng/up/otkrytyj-seminar-doloj-negativnye-ustanovki/
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