what do you think the question is more often asked me how counseling clients for family therapy?
“whether it is Possible to erase the generic scenario”, “how to get rid of the family scenario”, “what to do to family the script has ceased to act.”As you, sudden or predictable? If you have noticed these thoughts, you may need my today's article. You might be surprised, but it is not about the dangers of family scenarios, and the benefits they can bring to our lives.
In our family history reflects the history of the country, which is neither the easiest nor the most clear nor the most positive. The family histories much pain, anguish, injustice, guilt, shame, unexpressed anger and unpaid debts. So very often those who learns more about his family, react to the information received denial, experiencing sudden reluctance to go deeper. I want more “slam book” and quickly convince yourself that the book-no never was. This desire to “unsee”, antirebate to forget — a natural and common reaction. It is therefore recommended to work family scenarios with a specialist, a psychologist, is not alone.
Psychological work with a family scenario is based on certain laws, rules. This allows you to not be stuck at the stage of denial and go on. “Where, then?” — You will ask. On is resources kind, energy kind, gifts of the kind.
let us discuss this in more detail. What can be the benefit that brings to our lives a study of family scenarios?- Security kind.
Due to the special psychological techniques, we have access to the protective forces of our species. Sometimes this idea is explained esoterically, but psychologists tend to see this as a result of psychological work, and not mysticism. With the help of psychological, time-tested techniques (not esoteric, again I should emphasize this point), the client the therapist can restore the inner sense of security, to gain support. Then to form the skill of independent return to this state in situations of concern. This is possible thanks to the phenomena of internalization and representation. - Force.
With the force can also work using the techniques based on psychological phenomena of internalization and representation. In addition, family psychologist uses the techniques of working with plants, and technology of directed attention and the psychological technique of rewriting.
Usually our perception of family scenarios, static and monochrome, as if we see only one side of events. One that was repeated from generation to generation and “froze” in its official version became the Canon. the
Family psychologist is not a member of the family, but at the same time included in her life. This unique position helps the psychologist to see more and see differently, both inside history and outside. With this vision, a marriage counselor can help the client to move away from the static perception and monochrome vision. See the history of the family dynamics and colors. If simply, where before it was only visible failure and helplessness, the client becomes able to see success and power. - Power.
Family, genus is a breeding ground. We grow on this soil and grow due to obtained from using them. Then, we transmit the received next — creating the ground for the growth and development of our children. This is the ideal. In reality it varies, but almost always, in deep psychological work, it is possible to access nutritious and filling layers of family history. - Direction kind.
Generic script contains an indication of in what direction, with what speed and for what result it is necessary to move on with your life. Also, a generic scenario explains why it is necessary to move. If these instructions are not recognized, there may be a dissonance between the “plan” according to the family scenario and own individual schedule.
Working with family psychologist allows you to find the instructions and the unconscious kind, and causes dissonance. And most importantly — helps to see the alternative, minority trends, and those who have not received the status of “main stream”, the mainstream, and perceived the unconscious as a kind of marginal. What does this mean in practice? This usually means that in the course of work with a family therapist, the client and the family receive a large number of motivation, feeling energy rise, faith in yourself and your abilities, life meaning. - Strategy kind.
family scripts, encrypted coping strategies that have worked for previous generations of our families. In addition, there is information about those strategies that did not work, turned out to be a losing one. Losing these behaviors are marked originally as “failure”, “error”.
Analysis of family scenarios allows to draw out and decipher this information. Then the client together with the counselor can reframe this material, to form a conscious and actual position according to the preferred strategies. “Mistakes” can be useful in the new conditions, and recorded survival strategies obsolete and inadequate current events. And can happen and Vice versa is a survival strategy that is passed down from generation to generation, will be the salvation.
So the answer to the most common question is: “In a family scenario can be a lot of valuable and important, it is not necessary to destroy it”.
And what do you ask your couples therapy? Write, try to find the answer together.
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