Previously, many found solace in the faith, praying, going to Church. Now less people trust in God and in place of this comforting come the other.
In psychology we call them "psychological protection". In Russia, people in big cities carried away by externals: everything must be beautiful, must be met. This is the narcissistic defense. It brings comfort. When you're doing all of this in a white limo, hair flying and the city is beautiful and you're beautiful is nice. Just to support this defense will need to spend a lot of effort and often by the end, we remain in a psychological disadvantage.
In Spain, people find comfort in the hedonistic lifestyle. To drink beer in the morning before work, eating a big sandwich with ham, a snack plate of olives and you can work a couple of hours before the Siesta. It is less costly than narcissism, but the body can not stand, and many Spaniards were not in very good shape. Early age, many suffer.
In India, people find solace in the sweet codependency joint family. Merged as malai kufta they always come to each other for help and do everything together. It helps them to deal with the difficulties of life, but they pay. The loss of individuality and a voltage of unlived and unexpressed emotions, because you have to pretend that all is well, so as not to disturb the peace of the family.
every culture your consolation. Every family is their own. And each of us has a favorite protection, which varies in different periods of life.
But the funny thing is that when the person inside feels it is a blessed consolation, tightly locked in his defense, for others it starts to look disgusting. Those are the major club diva with big lips, is denouncing all and Sundry grandfather (protecting projection). It's a bored couple, which the party did not unstuck from each other (merger) or aunt, loudly screaming "Yes I do not care where he went" (negation).
most of all we love others when we don't protect against them. But it's so scary - not to defend...
The calming word solace is something what every person is looking for. Until recent times people have founded it in the conversation with God. Now we are searching for the new ways to soothe ourselves.
In big cities of Russia we became very narcissistic. We enjoy to be great and beautiful, but this greatness is so hard to reach that we loose solace struggling for it.
In Spain people enjoy life as it is, reducing stress with less obligations. They enjoy tasty food and starting to drink alcohol in the mornings and it works to be happy and peaceful. But the body suffers and they tend to not possess a healthy one.
In India people find solace by being in a big joint family, which will always help you. But the cost is loosing personality and feel tense about the emotions you can't express not to disturb the calm of the family.
Every culture has it's typical solace. Every person does. Even in the case of this particular person solace regarding changes to the periods of life.
But the truth is that when we feel so safe in our rigid defences we look unpleasant for others. It's those cool big lips club ladies (narcissistic defence) or an furious with the politicians of old man (projection), or a bored couple, who even in a party can't peel of each other (merging) or a woman who's yelling "I don't care where he is!" (denial).
The fact is that we are the most attractive when we open the gate of our fortress. But this is so scary not to defend...