View sex as being as close as possible
- sure way to stay out in the cold to 60 years,
when nearly half of life is yet to come
and much of the sexuality behind.
Sex many consider the ultimate intimacy. Because of this error, their relationships crumble as soon as the initial infatuation fades and sex will lose its former brightness and regularity. Imagine there is a way of life that leads to true intimacy. On this road a lot of confusing and even contradictory road signs, and even have branching paths leading to different clearings: on the same people all the time sex, on the other actively talking to each other, etc. the Inhabitants of each of the clearing so fascinated by the case and so deprived of power for the future path that strongly explain to you "this is the end, this is the real intimacy." But intimacy is something else! Recently, the question of what is intimacy asked one of my clients - Maria:
-Why I have such an obsessive desire all the time to have sex in a relationship? And apart from him nothing was easy.
-you Have a way to reach fixation on sex, I replied. - Like inner saboteur, who, when on the horizon looms something beautiful and eternal, offers "let's have sex"! And pulls the proximity to the geographical distance between the bodies. So you're in a relationship instead of a way to reach late at the bus stop called sex.
This does not mean that to achieve true intimacy you need to give up sex. Any way it is impossible to overcome without stopping for a rest. But you don't have to stay on the rest (fixation). Each stop is designed to give strength and at the same time to teach you something - you know all those stories around the campfire! For simplicity, I decided to map a path to reach (and waiting for it halts):
1 stop: touching the body, sex.
Teaches the actions that will create in the future a couple.
an Approximate list of commits:
love, dominance and violence (any sexual activity that does not agree partner), perpetual impermanence in relationships.
the Alleged causes of the commits:
revenge for their own failure and humiliation in the past, care in the commit from the difficulties of life.
2 stop: pleasant words, laughter and humor.
Teaches abilities for correct filling time together.
an Approximate list of commits:
manipulation, blackmail, and provocation, total dependence on the sentiments of another.
the Alleged causes of the commits:
you discover no relationship with the person and with someone of significant others, whose projection imposed. And at this point, saying terrible things not actually your man, and the father, who saw in his behavior.
3 stop: the inspiration to create something, following the General plans for the future.
Teaching intentions for the correct development partner.
an Approximate list of commits:
the rivalry with the partner, jealousy.
the Alleged causes of the commits:
unconscious violation of the balance "to give-to take" paired, irregular roles or rejection of them.
4 stop: friendship and mutual support.
Teaches acceptance of shared values - someone love, someone important to creativity, others money, the third personal growth. Shared values:
an Approximate list of commits:
refusal to support a partner (not necessarily help him, but the separation from him of his feelings).
the Alleged causes of the commits:
internal neutralist, the inability to digest a stressful situation.
5 stop: a common faith and a willingness to defend it.
Teaches how to create a shared reality for the couple. Open the way where there is none for everyone else - do not believe.
an Approximate list of commits:
love for their beliefs and defending their price relationship.
the Alleged causes of the commits:
lack of information, knowledge, education.
this was step-by-step path to true intimacy. It all this time was not about location, "with whom", and proximity "to where"! Imagine that you managed to pass this way without getting stuck on fixations and taking all those lessons. They formed the configuration of mentality will lead you to create a new quality of life. Which can be described as:
- a feeling of absolute usefulness,
- the deep calm and harmony,
- bodily pleasure from the fact that you exist,
- emancipation and openness
- touch with your intuition,
- positive and optimistic,
- understanding with other people (and by everybody, not just the partner, including that state).
I would Say "enlightenment"? I would not take so lofty, but the new level of development definitely isn't that person live? To develop new aspects to enjoy this world. And then it is not surprising that such a sensual adventure like the pairing and love leads to a completely new one, listed above, the attitude.
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