the Dying past. Personal experience.
Reflecting on his own personal therapy, I once again realize that we have an inner force or the wise part, which leads us to healing. At the last session, I realized rather realized that such death, what death is. Of course, it wasn't real (physiological) sense.
it All started with the fact that I have strained stupor (lack of in reality), then I realized that this state is hiding a lot of anxiety. With the help of a therapist, bodily sensations, and imagination (Good channels of perception are well developed, the result of years of training). Through images and bodily sensations that (people who know me will understand) I managed to pass a very difficult period of the past. I clearly realized what was stuck is a very important part of me, and for many years I carried those repressed hard feelings.
the Process that happened for me, as a therapist, was simply magnificent. Going over the images, which arise of themselves, and live all the sensations in the body, without analyzing and filtering, I have a desire to die. While in experiences, part of the personality from the past, I realized that she was ready to die. For me it was both difficult and scary - and what's next; and happily, in anticipation of release and freedom.
I will describe the whole process, without this it won't be clear what I'm writing.
In General, in imagination, I saw a boy 16 years old, respectively, which was very disturbing, and not safe. He has chosen internal defenders who helped the boy. I watched metaposition (from the side). I could see that the anxiety he is in the chest in the image of a large luminous egg pink color, which I got and felt a great desire to break it. It seems that this way the eggs were presented a protective capsule, which is needed to liberate, for the future course of energy. The egg turned out to be the needle that interesting everything happened according to arhiepiscop images from fairy tales, where the needle personified death.
I felt the desire to break it. I did and felt even more movement inside, as if a wave rose up to face, emotionally it was sadness and acceptance of his past, the humility of death, accepting the death of my last part, the "ass" that was there.
Then I went to the images of the funeral. I went to the corporal and began to live the process of the funeral, the completion of the burial rite. In the imagination and through bodily sensations I had felt like mourning for my death, it was a lot of grief. Here I allowed myself consciously to live the sadness and the separation from loved ones, and separation from them, and consent with the fact that I'm leaving alone. I hear that nailed the coffin as it is lowered.
Someone may find it creepy, but I didn't tested, although the frequency of my mind tried to reach out to me and shouted "what are You doing – stop it, we'll die." I listened to him, followed by an internal process and trusted him. One of my achievement, trust the process. I heard sleep the grave. As first thrown the relatives of the land owner, and then showered the earth with shovels.
Further more interesting, the therapist accompanied, prompted important points. I saw how the spirit is released and can be expanded as the body. As the worms feed on it, as only the bones remain, and over time, they too turn to dust.
I realized that I was not. After that in the breast there was a feeling of peace, freedom, I felt the upgrade as if I were new and heavy that I was drawn and troubled, disappeared. Inside the ease, confidence and warmth. The feeling of unity with the rest in this peace and harmony with all that is happening. I am a part of this, and at the same time, the whole world is also in me, this is a very powerful experience in which you know that you can do everything without stress and pressure, "everything is in you and you have everything." It is a spiritual experience, but it was not easy in the mind, namely at the level of the body, ie, I lived in the body, and it gives a special pleasure.
After that, I came to the conclusion that everything I do is not in vain. Many years of work produce results, and these processes occur because of this.
Here's the experience I had, without any psychotropic and narcotic drugs. And it's all thanks to psychotherapy, competent therapist and of course, my inner wisdom. Who thinks or reflects on psychotherapy, "to go or not to go", you go and the more the better.
I Hope my experience will be useful. Even if one person finds in it something important for myself, so I described it not in vain).
regards, Ivan Kozlov.
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