the Constant companions of a good relationship are trust, intimacy, community, respect, passion. I have two born WE. Relationships are dynamic in nature: they may then worsen, then improve, then acquire a completely different form. It so happens that along the way we lose everything of value that binds our Union. And then both partners or one of them there is a feeling that the continuation of the relationship impossible, there are thoughts about the breakup.
the Harbingers of divorce (breakup):
** the Deterioration of communication, the impossibility of relaxing.
** the attitude of the partner is changed to contemptuous, disdainful.
** Partners perceive problems in the pair as a severe, serious.
** Clear deterioration or the sexual life.
Psychological causes of divorce in some way connected with the feeling of loneliness in one or both partners, when WE are falling apart.
Along with thoughts of divorce come the questions:
* Who is to blame?
* is it Possible to do something to make a relationship better?
*And whether you want to try to improve them?
* When the best option would be the gap?
* are All relationships worth to improve?
* a Decent (-EN) I the best of life? the best partner?
the Transition from reflection to action does not always happen. Sometimes reflections on the theme "go, no go" can take years. There are factors that hinder free choice of actions.
One of the factors is the notion that children should grow up in a complete family. Deciding on divorce is complicated by a sense of guilt towards them. And parents wait, when "the Chicks leave the nest" to do, finally, his life. The truth is that it is better for children to live in an atmosphere of peace, love and respect. If the parents do not love each other, conflict, humiliate and insult each other, this situation only contributes to the development of neurosis in their children. And if you think that you and your husband are wonderful actors and can be nominated for an Oscar for the role of happy and loving couple and skillful play in front of children, you think. Children are not stupid and clearly feel the tension in the family, then give us feedback in the form of hysterical, psychosomatic, poor performance and poor discipline.
it is also Important to remember that children learn from their parents relationship model. Do we want that in the future our son or daughter remained in the relationship for a sense of duty, was miserable and alone in them for many years?
Another limiting factor may be the economic dependence of women from her husband. In our country it is accepted that children remain after the divorce. And women account for a large share of the responsibility for their well-being. Well, if the spouses can agree on joint segregation of duties relative to children and adhere to the agreement in the future. In fact often the woman brings up children in the full solo. Emotional, financial, time and physical burden on her shoulders. This prospect can be scary and hold back on the way out of the destructive relationship. The key to the solution of the problem can be finding a woman's economic independence, the recourse to relatives and friends, creating a community of solo mothers with the aim of obtaining support.
Third factor: a sense of duty towards the partner sometimes weighs more than their own welfare. You can take comfort from the idea that we all come into this life alone and in solitude away from it. Staying in a relationship with the unloved man you condemn to an unhappy everyday life of not only yourself but him as well. And probably, thereby depriving you both of a chance at finding happiness in relationships with other people.
another factor is the fear of evaluation of others: "What do you say Princess Marja Alekseevna?". Fear can literally paralyze, especially if in the role of Maria Alekseevna speaks next of kin, the condemnation of which you are afraid. Feeling stronger, the more dependent you emotionally from other people. It is important to return to the idea that ultimately we alone are responsible for your life and your happiness. And only we know what's good for us and what is not, what thought was not attributed to us I wonder.
And the last factor I want to address is doubt that will be necessary to divide not only property but also of relatives and mutual friends. This is especially true if the family is actively involved in social life. Scared that after the divorce, the social environment can completely change, and then one thought about that now, not with whom to go camping, or celebrate events, increased feelings of loneliness and sadness. Remember that separation from a spouse does not mean parting with all the friends with whom you had contact. You can communicate with them in a new way, make new acquaintances with whom to share their interests and a new life.
In the end I want to remind you that every relationship has a chance if BOTH partners want to save them and are ready for this change. And if you have stalled, then perhaps the best solution would be an appeal to the specialist, in order to use it to build bridges to each other.
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