Hello, tenderly loving parents!
Continuing the stated theme of "School" today I want to touch on one of the forms of power over the child, and the parents to a certain extent is the TEACHER!!!
Before each teacher has two important tasks:
1. To ensure the effectiveness of learning.
2. Keep the children's interest in learning.
However, evaluate the work of teachers only on the results of the children's knowledge. Thereby pushing it to the learning of children at any cost, including through the arousal of fear and anxiety in children. Of course, each teacher as an individual, sooner or later making your individual choice: who is the teacher to keep you motivated for knowledge in their pupils, or the teacher who uses fear Your children and Your own in order for them to learn something.
You hesitate to ask how the teacher can use Your own? I give an elementary example: remember the parent meeting when it is self-confident adults people turn on the eyes in the lurking fear of waiting, when you hear their name, adolescents. Often, when a teacher makes a complaint to our child, sometimes, not always justified, we are willing to promise to “take action”, “trace”, “tighten control”, etc. More actively seek to demonstrate consent with the teacher, resulting in “additional examples” of home life for their children. Instead of having to disagree with the teacher or stand up for your child.
Fear mind master, arises from the parents, from a desire not to make the child worse (what would the teacher began to put the child a bad grade, did not be treated worse, shaming the child in front of other students, etc.)
And it is only "One side of the coin"...
Sometimes a parent fears school, brought by them from their own childhood, so great that find their outlet in violent and aggressive towards children. The teacher, knowing this, you feel constrained and in assessing such children, and in conversation with their parents. In this case, a teacher “the hand does not rise” to deliver to the child a bad mark, because she knows that every time in such cases the child is physically punished. At the meeting the teacher can not allow any criticism of this child, because he was severely punished, saying: “Learn to me for you to blush never had”.
In this case your own-esteem of the parents depends on the ratings of the child. In other words, adult a person experiencing a fear of “humiliation”, making responsible for your child's self-esteem: “it depends Only on you, I would have to feel shame or not. You are responsible for my inner state and feelings”.
Then the child has to bear double responsibility: for themselves and for the emotional state of the parents.
RECOMMENDATION:
1.Parents need to define themselves in relation to their children's fears before school.
2. Do not forget that the teacher, frightening children and You, he also is afraid of much.
3. You should make your choice in favor of the development of knowledge and understanding of their child.
sincerely, psychologist Irina Revutskaya.
E-mail: [email protected]
Skype: irina_revutskaya
Website: Parenting with love and logic
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