Beliefs (or "schemes") are formed in early childhood, when a person encounters something unpleasant, and represent the complex emotional images, reasoning, memory and bodily sensations. They are fixed in a number of subsequent events in which he is experiencing similar feelings. Thus is formed a scheme, which will be played for the rest of your life in similar situations.
here is an example of one woman, we'll call her Anna.
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In childhood, Anya often went through painful situation for her. Alcoholic father was prone to sudden outbursts of aggression, and the mother took the submissive position and couldn't defend not what a daughter but even yourself. Ania presented strict requirements behave quietly. If Anya happened something at school or in the yard, she first tried to share it, but soon stopped to even think about it because she was afraid to hurt the mother and the father will lash out at her with threats. So she formed a scheme of Subordination. Subsequently, this scheme has led her to a painful sexual relationship with a man who also showed respect to Ana's aggression, and she, knowing that these relations do not bring her pleasure, still joined with him in a sexual relationship. Antivirus in adult life Ani, this scheme forces her to focus on the desire of other people to feel helpless, to feel the pressure from their side, even when her nor forced to do anything. And when in the workplace, someone asks her opinion, she feels the tension and agrees with the statements of colleagues. And events where she will have something to say, for example, on interviews, she does not come. So it appears the behavioral scenario (or "mode"), which she responds to this scheme.
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Some of the circuits, or even a handful of them meet everyone in a more or less pronounced form. And problem this scheme becomes when it leads to social problems or unpleasant emotional experiences. Then they hinder the awareness, adoption and satisfaction of one's basic needs. These are kind of areas of vulnerability.
the Basic scheme and modes described by Jeffrey young. All diagrams are divided into groups corresponding unmet basic human needs. Let us briefly consider them.
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I — the Need for safe attachment, acceptance and care.
People who have a child somehow has not been properly satisfied this need, do not feel safe and confident in the relationship. Feelings and emotions there can be very different.
Schema of abandonment will cause the woman to feel abandoned when her husband is at work and says she has the whole 50 minutes (!); people with the schema social isolation are unable to feel part of a group; diagram of distrust causes people to be suspicious and constantly feel threatened by others.
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II — the Need for autonomy, competence, sense of self.
Here are the issues with the confidence an adequate assessment of their achievements and independence. People with these schemes feel dependent, helpless, indecisive. They can terribly frighten the need for major choice. They do not expect anything except failure.
Such people are convinced that their own decisions will only harm their relationship, they themselves and other people. All the fears of Contracting incurable diseases, to go crazy or get into an accident – is also here.
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III — the Need for realistic boundaries, self-control.
I would Like to draw the attention of all parents on these needs! In my opinion, the child's need for appropriate boundaries often not met his parents. But, paradoxically, but the lack of atmosphere and harsh cadet school, equally lead to problems of this group, namely, the difficulties with the designation and maintenance of adequate boundaries.
People with schemas of this group lack self discipline. They are hardly in control of my life, training or employment. Scheme of grandeur makes them think they are allowed whatever they wish. And the schema of insufficient self-control manifests itself in violation of the established rules and inability to wait for delayed gratification.
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IV the Need for free expression of needs and emotions.
If a person has something here, he probably thinks their needs are less important than the desires of other people. As a result, their efforts he spends on the needs of others. Ways can be different.
There are reporting lines of people trying to adapt to others needs; self-sacrifice will give him full responsibility for solving the problems of his loved ones ("so all was well!"). People search schema validation and recognition have the same goal – to please others.
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V — the Need for spontaneity and play.
Here we are talking about the avoidance of expression of spontaneous emotions and desires and experiences in General. Some people often tend to devalue their feelings and emotions, "kids" need and spontaneity. They believe that it is a manifestation of stupidity, ridiculous childishness and immaturity.
People with the schema of negativity have a very negative view of the world: sometimes it may seem that they are busy to seek out negative sides in the surrounding. Scheme standards feel constant internal pressure due to an obsessive desire everywhere. They are never satisfied with anything. Well, the desire to punish for the mistakes, especially those related to moral evaluations and moral norms is the responsibility of the scheme karamelnoe.
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of Course, I mentioned all the schemes. My goal was not to examine in detail each particular case. Rather, I want to lift the veil of uncertainty that conceals the main causes of certain unpleasant and sometimes very painful States in which we provide regularly.
Why do I think that this concept of schema-therapy has so much potential? Because at the time when I met her, she much helped me to better understand myself and about my relationships with other people, and, of course, about the relationships of other people with their environment, which is so important in my psychotherapeutic practice. And not only helped me to understand, but were also effective tools to correct these irrational beliefs.
the Knowledge of what mechanisms are behind the outwardly inadequate human behavior, allows you to look deeper into it. It helps to violent bravado, constant complaining or bragging to see people's true motives, e.g. a desire to defend, to gain recognition or to prove to himself and others that he is not small and frightened (as he thought), and the brutal and powerful.
If you have questions, ask them in the comments to this post, private message or in the relevant topics in the group – I will be happy to answer them! You may need to dwell on any details or to investigate a situation, write!
I really want to see in the near future, leaving the street, we could see not only impersonal and indifferent crowd of angry victims of circumstances, but more lucid and confident and truly happy people!
bye!
!
