Slay the dragon of self-deprecation
the slumped shoulders, the predominant feelings of humiliation, alienation, a sense of guilt for everything that happens not quite the way expected by others, depressed mood and steady the feeling of insignificance and despair.
the Dragon of self-deprecation that has stuck to you – rejoice!
Where it came from?
he was Born in your childhood, when parents are idealists, wanting you to fix their mistakes or are consistent with their achievements, too overstated the bar. Was waiting for you that no child of your age could not do . For example, it's pointless to get a three year old child to sit still, to bring only "excellent", always make the bed and clean the toys etc :). Are you talking about your picture to show my mother and I hear: "What are you nakalyakal!?", in the best case: "Come here a little bit- fix that, and here we make a brighter!" Familiar?
Criticisms, comments, conditional love ("I'll love you if you learn well, to behave well...) – all this has convinced you that it is better to be invisible, you better not even try to do something, because I still do not get perfect, but to hear corrections, comments, sermons – is simply unbearable.
Fear of failure leads to constant feeling of guilt and the need to ask forgiveness for what you are not what you want to see the parents. All the time not like that. What a punishment, not a child! Since you believe in the inevitability of failure, you repeatedly fail in your child's soul is firmly taking root dragon of self-deprecation.
When you become older, you acquired the habit in advance to apologize for my so-called incompetence: "Oh, I never knew how to draw, so I don't know what happens", "Let's you, I'm a bad cook", "It's my fault, I always have something to go, I'm so clumsy". From the constant excuses makes you feel sick to even look at myself in the mirror.
"Avoid pain and disappointment, be humble, seek comfort in inaction and stealth" - whispers to you dragon. As your previous experience consisted of continuous losses and disappointments and defeats – you will again disappoint others by their inability to meet their expectations, until it reaches logical end – point of deep depression.
But your dragon self-abasement is not so simple – he knows how to change the appearance of the opposite as it might seem at first. The arrogance that fills you right to criticize and condemn every action of any person. Originates in the same child, when under the watchful and critical attention of parents to your persona, you were born an inadequate sense of importance, leading to the feeling that the people around vigilantly watching your every act and movement . It makes you anxious, tense and leads to the idea to be a gray mouse, and sit quietly in the corner.
How to defeat this monster?
1.Realize that the dragon of self-deprecation and You are not the same thing. The dragon is smite, which is powered by Your life energy. You can live without it a successful and joyful life. And without it You will die. So who's in charge here?
2. Be aware of their own belief in their inferiority. Understand that Your fear of his insolvency leads to failure. It is the fear of a child who lives in the depths of Your soul and crying bitterly that his parents don't like. But Your power in this little baby, and that he can defeat the dragon. Agree with him, explain to, perhaps, believe him.
3. Overpower yourself and achieve success that had never tried it. It can be any types of art, extreme sports, even just the Park rides You've been afraid to ride.
4. Remove from Your vocabulary phrases expressing apology. Watch his speech, mark first, and with time, You will get rid of the habit of constantly humiliating to apologize, to bend and to blame themselves (verbally).
5. Use breathing exercises to "straightening of the wings of the soul." Exercises for deep, full breathing relieve anxiety, tension, feeling of stiffness.
6. Learn how to respond to criticism of the inner voice that says, "That's late again!", "You're so clumsy and stupid!" etc.
Your correct response is "so what?" or "Yes, what?" :)
the Main thing to remember is treat them not worse than his dog.
7. Write down into weekly every day of your progress. Come home in the evening, sit back, stay focused and remember your day and note the progress that has been done, which was a pleasant thought, any little thing, everything.
8. Love your reflection in the mirror. Every day, starting today, do the following exercise. Undress and stand in front of a mirror. Force yourself to look at his reflection for a couple minutes. Consider each area of your body. You will have a lot of emotions (hate, shame, humiliation, pity and then sadness), perhaps the emotion will spill over with tears, maybe not on the first day, it is very good.
9. Divide the notions of self – abasement and modesty. True modesty elevates a person, not destroys. A modest person does not experience doubt in their own abilities.
Methods catetinho experiences of image hypnosis, behavioral psychotherapy, breathing practices successfully will help you deal with the dragon of self-deprecation.
!
