Now I'm not talking about all moms and kids to talk about. This is likely true for children-the rescuers.
these are children (and then teenagers, and then adults aunts and uncles), who in the family is growing well, is very comfortable: quiet, calm, Executive, wow don't ask, tantrums are not satisfied.
Yes, gold, not a child!
Mom and dad happy. And this "joy" of growing up, coming out in his life. And for some reason his life is full of unbearable trials. But parents, he says nothing: "I'm fine, don't worry, I do it!"
so glad to hear that, "Mom, I'm fine".
That's right balm for the soul!
Although somewhere inside there is a worm, zanozina painful about the fact that it's a kid in there. He sucks, frankly. Even objectively must be bad. Especially when the young girl after school went from the village to the city to study and work and suddenly says that she is doing well.
But don't want it to climb...
no, No, mom's worried: I called and asked how things were going. And rastrogavshis, a child will suddenly and seems some trouble. Oh, that starts: mother beats in hysterics, advice, requires reports, torn to heal, to take care of-sorry-re.
And you know why? Because mother can not stand the pain of the child.
Her vision problems your child becomes Netrebko hurt. And she wants to heal HIM.
Here's the paradox: it hurts my mother, and to treat runs of a child. br>
And the child in turn can not withstand the mother's tantrum. Here no matter how many years this child-rescuer - he can not withstand the tears of the mother. So he's a lifeguard and became. "Better let your mother doesn't know, not upset because of me. Her life went. I'd rather somehow."
So here is what I am. I as a mother has an adult son myself have experienced it all. My long-suffering and rescue the son of a very long said that he is doing well. And I believed. This is very beneficial for me. Only now he has persistent sores appeared and night terrors. It's the only thing he told me. And I, of course, the doctor took him, soothing napokupali. And does not pass. br>
And I began to cry. From pain, from guilt, from weakness, from hopelessness - all rose to the surface. But when I proryvalas, we saw that the reasons for the poor state of the son in me. It is very long disguised themselves and did not ask for my attention because I see me with her problems do not. And went to look for assistance and to deal faster with their problems.
And the more the son became shares with me what is happening in his life, the more I began to return a responsibility. My responsibility for the situation. And I became stronger, firmer, more realistic or something. br>
So I say: return to the mothers of their pain. Having lived this pain, they become stronger and more Mature. They gain the piece of power through an accommodation of his guilt. Yes, watch is sometimes unbearable. And the child-rescuer himself has much to learn to tell mom the truth. About the fact that he occasionally drunken drinking. About what does not work in your personal life. About not cope...
!
