Imagine the classic family, the husband and wife. And like people live but to quarrel all the time someone always something is missing and it is not so. How often this occurs? And someone from spouses or partners in this pair accuses the other of lack of love or just that General claim puts it: "you only think about yourself". The situation may be different but I want to highlight is the case where a couple is communicating through his "deprived inner child". To conceive. In such a situation is likely to have infantile children need to be the center of attention, but it is not closed properly in childhood by their parents, and this deficit be carried into the field of personal relationships, m and m where there is an expectation that the other will close with his presence and behaviour will offset this shortage.
Nitpicking these people and shorohovatosti seem reasonable but actually if you consider it's just a game claim to its parent, not the partner, the partner is the same imperfect people and if you want you can find a lot of things unpleasant or pleasant which side and side view.
But this vulnerability makes personal to see your loved one through the prism of feelings, "I do not give up" . Usually in this symbiosis the second lives in the sense of "I should" otherwise the pair would not exist.
These couples can live a long and "happy" and can eventually disintegrate.
But guarantee 80% of that in other ways as will occur, something like (accumulate resentment, deficit, increase tension in the relationship and the duty of a partner to grow). If the partner agree that to survive and feel always mega-owed a couple can survive a long time, if not disintegrate. And all the dissatisfaction will remain, because the footprint and the installation remains open and raw. The inner child is still hungry, and accordingly one constantly lives in the discomfort and he never so wrong. And a series of such relationships to reinforce a sense of disappointment in the opposite sex.
In this situation it would be good to conduct an audit of their needs and to separate adult treating yourself and partner to see their "hungry" children to take responsibility with the other for acquiring what is needed and important.
This may occur on the basis of "not enough money", "do not guess with a gift", "little or not sex", "not quitting Smoking", "too busy", etc. Such trauma can choose many seemingly objective reasons for samarastroydetal and in consequence of soil to extract from your partner "nishtyakov" but even if the partner is a "feed" that will be enough, the requirements to spill over into other topics field to regain the loss of something important is always there.
that is why if you noticed a this trend we need to see a specialist and out of unconscious game of "you owe me". As Perls said we are not here in order to meet the expectations of each other. And I'd say that we're just here to live and give love and joy to each other, together to cope with difficulties, to develop jointly or individually and not to shift the responsibility for happiness on another person is a very shaky path.
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