I Think the duality and contradictions of the world and is, basically, a large part of the nervousness and deep anxiety. The person gets anxiety when he knows on what to rely, and assumes at least roughly, what will happen tomorrow, next week, etc, on the one hand there is a basic need for security, and on the other hand, is the unpredictability and unreliability of the world. Here in these two vectors of attention, the man and begins to "wobble". And then, if you cling to security, many things are denied, displaced, according to the principle "to me this can not happen". And then the response to stress and loss in the destruction of their world. And it is very difficult to handle. People "do not represent my life without.." love, family particular person, certain conditions, of course, will be more prone to neuroses unpredictable stressful situation or loss. At the other extreme are people who know perfectly well that at any moment can remain without what you have, that there is nothing stable in this world, there are no guarantees, and things change. And then what to choose? That rely, and how to be with her safety? For the most part, these people choose not to change anything. At least everything is more or less predictable. Psychological speaking the language, prefer to stay in the comfort zone. And then, a guarantee of safety could be worst job, sluggish attitude, the inability to realize their dreams - because without this it could get worse, no guarantees. What is understood? This is not sustainable and does not allow to meet their needs because of the "clues" for one of his basic need for security, albeit it pseudo-satisfied, because even in the comfort zone of netguarantee. How to be? And how to live?
And here we can turn to creative Perlovka fixture.That is, a high degree of adaptability, high reality testing, sensitivity to yourself and your needs, the ability to anticipate several possible scenarios and taking responsibility for their choices. That is, out of the comfort zone. And only then have the possibility of change and growth. It turns out that the degree of development, to achieve certain results, implementation plans, new knowledge depends on the ability to soberly assess the various options of development of events, to accept them, take responsibility for your choices and take action. The development of this flexibility and adaptability possible. One of the most effective ways to cope with anxiety and fear of failure or losing what you have, is the ability to be in the moment, that is here and now. Most fears is a fantasy future, that is, practically, a man gets "in a stupor" is not what is happening now, and the "what might happen", but the feelings of fear and dread feels real. Curious how people are able to fall into a neurosis and fantasy. But, nevertheless, the need for security dictates such reactions. And the curious thing is that the so-called brave people, those who are not afraid to make changes, not to miss new opportunities, etc., are just as scared. Just can be afraid and do, and you can be afraid and not to do. That makes all the difference. But sometimes the fear of change leads to tragic consequences. For example, many people prefer to die than to change their lifestyle or eating habits.
I think therapy and, in particular, Gestalt therapy is there such a tool for the development of adaptability creative adjustment. It provides an opportunity to begin to make conscious choices and to take responsibility for the consequences. To live, and to live in pleasure is an art. To be in the moment is an art. And in order for them to master, you just need to make the choice of whether I live or I fear the future, so now not live. Remember the monologue of a Wizard and "Ordinary Miracle", "Glory to the brave souls who dare to love, knowing that this will come to an end."
But the only way you can get a taste of life.
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