In this article I would like to share practical experience and observation as personal experience interweaves with the system, or generic topics that the client often does not know and is not aware of. Let's order.
the Client, let's call her Elena, a young woman about 40 years old, currently lives with her husband, son (16 years old) and parents. Son from his first marriage. There is a persistent conflict of the son with the stepfather. She has a fairly good contact with my son, but for a long time with him next to her to be hard, explains that he does not know what to say and what to speak. She experiences an inner tension in the body: shoulders, back, shoulders, neck and head. Therefore, it avoids more communion with him, or trying to quickly finish the conversation. The child has behavioral problems, difficulty in school, often misses and does not want to walk, frequent conflicts with peers, etc. Elena has a concern for the future of his son, that he might get into bad history or to commit a crime. She strongly blames himself for lack of attention to the child in childhood. Previously, she rationalized that earns money, now understands that just ran away from the relationship with the son, as he experienced discomfort when dealing with him.
Goal: Reach a state of tranquility in contact with his son, to experience the comfort of being with him. Acceptance, love and the ability to offer love and support. (A large and serious inquiry for one session. Explain that before the session the client has carried out a long work, more than one year, which allowed, in my opinion, achieve the purpose).
Steps:
1. After clarifying the request and defining the question arose of resources. Client came in a very depressed state, and from the outset there was a desire to support it. For me it was information about the deficit in General. Lack of energy, which, by definition, can not be. Where it can be spent or sent? These are my observations and questions as you go. Began work with somatic experiencing - feelings towards the son, there was a tightness in your shoulders and neck area. Focusing on the feeling and following the movement of the body, the client "trickles down" under a chair and stays there. The impression was that it is a safe or reliable place where she was safe, but had no strength. I covered her with a blanket and offered just to experience sensations in the body. It was important for me to find impulses and resources in the body, and after the shoulder blades and lower back, in the lower part of the belly had the warm sensation with the subsequent pulses and the movements of the feet. Then Elena got up and sat - an indicator of availability of resources and opportunities to go to work.
2. On using imagination and constellation methods go to contact with his son, gradually from the internal obstacles, more irritation, and it is a very good indicator. Began to unfreeze repressed feelings and dissatisfaction with his son's behavior, which she is not allowed to occur. The suppression of these feelings takes a lot of energy.
in the Beginning was ashamed of his appearance, and then it turned into aggression that talked about the movement of energy and feelings. It was an important next step, as long time she hadn't allowed herself to Express emotion, "mad - bad" is a common installation of the Soviet education.
If you do not know how to live and to Express aggression, it will be difficult to experience love and joy. Aggression was lived through the body with the inclusion of tense muscles and completion of the reactions, i.e., punches the pillow and resistance to include additional resources. Then came a state of peace, and Elena was able to look at the son already at the same level, sitting on a chair.
3. It would seem that the main work is completed, but the client has released a new deeper layer. She says she feels her son's strange and not native, although she had him. I had the feeling of something entirely new, not related to the personal experience of Elena. I suggested that she bring these feelings as a system. They brought them to the labels (slips of paper) from the chest and the eyes. In relation to the son immediately there was movement and a pleasant warmth.
derived From the figures held a ceremony of recognition and gratitude, there was heat and a willingness to break free from the system load. Held the division of past and present. Thus, other people's feelings from the past, perhaps some of our ancestors are brought into our lives. This is a phenomenon that science still have to explain it, but I see his effects on people's lives in the present. Having released from these entanglements, quality of life improved significantly. The session was completed.
4. The client achieved the goal, feedback in a few days : Elena can be with my son and can't escape, can be in contact with him, to support and to say that he was beloved and an important, beloved and dear. This is a basic, fundamental policies and messages of the parents for success in adult life. Talk to their parents and hearing children is very important at any age.
If you parents do to their children that they are loved and important to you?
If you have children, have you heard from your parents such messages?
If not, remember it can always be corrected. Good luck and health.
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