Anyone familiar with the difficulties in handling the request? Fear to ask, once again to say something, the nervousness while waiting for a response and difficult experience of failure, or conversely a sense of the debt hanging over what we agreed to help. Is it?
Which usually are the roots of such difficulties? Most often from childhood. The reasons may be different and in different combinations.
it May be that parents are not taught, and perhaps did not know that every person has the right to ask another about something. Therefore each request could be perceived as a crime, like something out of a discharge. As something to be ashamed of. We could not be taught that asking for help is our basic right as a human being.
Another common reason is a substitution request requirement. The request assumes that we have the right to refuse and we're asking, should understand that. Preferably in the request to specify that the person has the right to deny us. We ask for the gift and we have no right to claim it. Unfortunately we can often see how asking people begins to demand it and to be offended by a refusal. So maybe the parents did, and from them we have learned to confuse these concepts. And perhaps the aggressive demands were the only possible forms of communication with parents and this model is established as effective.
But if the only way to get what you want from parents and their attention was it is Flirty and request the nomination of their weaknesses, this could become a habit and remain in adulthood. Please suggests some form of humility, but not humiliation itself, and not flattery, because it is our birthright to ask. And when we know that the request is only an ingratiating, we can be embarrassing and inconvenient to resort to it. The same could happen, if the parents are scolded for showing weakness and a request was issued for such weakness, and not for an adequate understanding of their forces, the capability assessment and the recourse to the help of others.
also the inability to clearly present your request could be triggered by the fact that the parents would reject any request of a child, mocked him and ignored his needs. And if there was violent action on the part of adults, such as the threat of punishment or the punishment, it postponed the shock could pursue and further causing the panic attacks before each request.
What may have been the reason, it is important that at any age you can learn to ask. Need to know how to do it, and also it is wise to examine the possible incorrect installation of childhood, to make it easier to learn productive communication with others.
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