Such a nasty thing as conflict is an integral part of human life. As if he had not tried to live without conflict, it is not possible.
What is so unpleasant conflict? Probably the fact that its decisions will still have to make the choice to give up something subjectively important. A favorable outcome of the conflict is possible only if people participate in it consciously. This is the key difference between neurotic conflict. It occurs between the unconscious and incompatible drives and eliminates the freedom of choice. Man is torn opposite directional forces, none of which he really doesn't want to follow. Such a conflict is slowly but surely destroying him.
to determine the nature of a neurotic conflict can only be symptoms, because its essence never comes to mind. The basis of such a conflict is the loss of the ability to desire something earnestly.
Central to this is the anxiety I felt a little helpless child in a potentially hostile world. The feeling of danger can often be triggered by lack of emotional involvement on the part of adults. Aspirations of the child in this case, concentrating on survival and safety. This leads to the need to adjust their behaviour so as to become worthy of parental love, you have to survive. In the future this strategy will become a sustainable model of behavior.
What will be the model depends on the specific situation, here are the three most popular:
the Child, recognizing their helplessness, can choose "Movement to people". He will do anything to win their love, lean on them and feel safe.
- It can calculate the natural state of enmity and select "move against people". His desire to become strong is partly due to the desire to protect themselves, and partly with the intention of revenge.
- the third option, the child does not wish neither to belong nor to fight, and chooses a "the Movement of people." He saw no points of contact with others and prefers to stay aloof.
So there are three types of behavior. The first is based on helplessness, the second hostility, and the third by exclusion. But, none of these aspirations is not sincere. In ordinary life these three condition are not mutually exclusive, they can coexist and form a holistic personality, which depending on the situation, you need to give in and to fight and to retire. In the neurosis the person loses flexibility and can exhibit only one pattern, even if it is not appropriate to the circumstances.
This allows to distinguish three types of personality:
sub type shows excessive need for love and approval. He is constantly in search of a partner that will relieve a heavy burden of responsibility for his own life, will manage to "protected". And if you find it, do not release him from himself at any cost. To save the relationship he will be willing to give up their interests to humiliate and destroy the self. This is due to the fact that his need for a partner an obsessive character and her frustration causes too much anxiety. To love it is irrelevant. The chosen one need just to feel safe.
aggression lives in the legal jungle. The meaning of his life in the fight where everyone is against everyone and everyone is responsible only for himself. Its main goal – domination over others. Form of control depends on personal data. It is important for the success, prestige and excitement. People and situations are considered only in the light of benefit. He is sure that others do the same. Love for him has no value. Isolation of feelings allows him to function as a machine. It can very effectively develop our own capability and ingenuity to position itself as strong and successful.
Separate is experiencing intolerable stress from communication. He is an observer, both in relation to themselves and in relation to the surrounding world. He seeks to create and maintain distance between themselves and others. The clash with the real world causes him great anxiety. But to survive in solitude is not easy. For this, he either develops its own intelligence, or brings personal needs to the minimum. Its fundamental need is the need for independence. In difficult situations detached type helpless in the face of circumstances, as can neither cooperate, nor to fight.
the Aspirations of each character is not based unmet neurotic needs. If you remember how it all began, leading among them is the need for survival and security. They are deprived of freedom of choice and spontaneity. Life and human behavior drives the neurotic conflict. To solve it in a constructive manner is not possible. This is due to the fact that he is not able to achieve awareness. People may not feel that he has some kind of conflict simply to assert that he is "a".
the Price of unresolved neurotic conflict is very high. It is the inability to live their own lives, understand their feelings and desires, to build a harmonious relationship with others to love and to be loved.
Thus, it turns out that the article title does not quite match its content. It does not need much effort to understand that immersion in such States of the output are not. However, there is a solution and it is unique. To cope with neurotic conflict is possible only when you are working with a qualified psychologist who will help translate the repressed experiences into the language of words. This will lead to the exit of the primary suffering and will give the opportunity to take an active part in the solution of the neurotic conflict.
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