from time to Time, probably every person is not happy with himself. At such moments he was particularly clearly begin to see their own weaknesses and apparent flaws. Despite the unpleasant feelings, this condition has certain positive significance. It strengthen the motivation to self-development, and helps to become better. The man who always and everywhere satisfied with their person simply have nowhere to seek, and why not work on yourself.
But in some cases, the dissatisfaction takes a protracted and ceases to depend on the objective external circumstances. Then its adaptive function is lost. It does not promote self-development, and to immerse people into the abyss of severe emotional distress. He acquires the tendency to constantly and unnecessarily scold and criticize yourself. His mind focuses on the negative aspects of self and ignoring the positive. The person is formed a biased attitude towards him, which makes it difficult to assess their strength and capabilities. This condition can lead to total refusal to do anything, because nothing good just will not work.
there are five main reasons for destructive and painful dissatisfaction:
lack of self-esteem. Low self-esteem leads to chronic dissatisfaction. Man has the feeling that he is always and everywhere good enough that he is in all respects loses to the others and he would never make it to a certain fantasy ideal. High self-esteem does not contribute to the satisfaction of the other. Such a person has a tendency to set ourselves sky-high goals and tackle tasks that are clearly beyond him. Collision with reality regularly make him experience a painful sense of dissatisfaction.
over-reaction to criticism. Not all the individual qualities and actions of individuals can cause total approval of others. Because the flow of critical reactions from the outside is inevitable. There are people who take criticism constructively, or try to change something in yourself (if need it), or don't accept someone else's opinion to your account. But if the person over-reaction to criticism, he does not even try to assess the objectivity of the comments made, and by default agree with him. Any, even not intended criticism, can permanently ruin his mood.
Perfectionism. An irresistible pursuit of an unattainable ideal can become a source of constant dissatisfaction. A man cannot derive pleasure from small achievements and the conquered heights, it can please only something global. And since such significant events happen not often, he experiences an almost permanent dissatisfaction in varying degrees. It never leaves the feeling that it doesn't meet no one high standard.
How to deal with the constant dissatisfaction:
- a Realistic look at your abilities and capabilities. They may be higher than imagined and this led to dissatisfaction with himself, because deep down people always knew that I could do more. Or Vice versa, takes a few to lower the bar to get a positive result.
- Less trustingly to treat observations from the outside, to correlate them with the real situation. To try to reduce the number of people who are prone to groundless criticism, in their environment to a minimum.
- learn to enjoy even their small achievements and victories. They are not that other, as another step towards important life goals.
- allow yourself to do something is not ideal. The right to have each error and if they never are, it is unlikely that you can achieve something global.
- to learn to notice not only the negative qualities and shortcomings, but also dignity. They are for everyone. You can even write on a piece of paper all the things that you can praise.
In some cases, chronic dissatisfaction may have a deeper reason. It is one of the symptoms of such serious disease as depression. Then to deal with this painful state alone appears to be problematic or even impossible task. The best solution would be to seek help from a qualified technician.
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