I Want to share my observations about why and what in our pairs there is a third.
Forming relationships with the opposite sex starts early, at the age of about 3 years. We can observe how children are learning to win the attention of parent of opposite sex. Statement : "I genus on mom or dad" one of the manifestations of the rivalry of the child with the parent of the same sex.
Important for later adult relationship between a man and a woman is the successful completion of the "Oedipal stage." During this period, the separation(separation) girls from the Pope, and the boy from my mom and the ability to find support from someone of your gender. This positive experience is of great importance for the formation of future intimate relationships of both men and women.
In our modern families often fail in the relationship.
Moms don't let their sons, dads or absent altogether ( divorce between the parents and often the child's upbringing, the mother) or the presence of the father formally( works a lot, drinks a lot etc, seems to be there , but not available for communication), perhaps a parent did not know how to take "maturity" of their child.
Not all men able to share his father's feelings and "sexual manipulation" of his photostudy daughter. Sexual attraction scares them, they don't know how to act. After all, it's his child, it is better to withdraw or to pay off. There can be no fact that would explain to the child that he has another woman( her mother) and he prefers, and that his daughter will be another man, and how he (the other)to win, she will help and tell you how times mom.
And what happens if the girl fails to attract my father's attention ( I mean emotional recognition )? The girl automatically wins the competition with another woman, his mother. She loved and better mom. The triumph of a small winner! And then what? And then the loss of support from the mother, as it involved a game of "who will win the man." Not all women can consciously take his daughter to a rival. It's her child! But none of the women doesn't want to lose in competition for male support and recognition of the competitors did not wait. it is a war for recognition to be a woman.
so the girl grows up with the ability to raise their self-esteem by seducing another men. Here a sexual relationship go by the wayside ,it's just a means to an end. A goal - "I am better than the other."
However, it does not bring satisfaction, the need was recognized. And recognition can only give a woman, only a woman can understand and support another woman. The war it men. Women have another purpose. Women belong to men, men I command of women. We need each other. Do not confuse their roles.
the Boys in our modern families is even more difficult to grow separate from the mother a man. Often the education of the future men are in the hands of his mother, who emotionally binds a son to him instead of her husband. These mothers know better what you need "her boy." They set his son "how-to" for himself and formed a husband (it is as easy to raise a man, such as I have).
These boys, virosta not able to accept intimacy with another woman, they are emotionally and often very tight(can you say married) with the mother. Intimacy with another woman is a betrayal on their part. Having multiple sexual partners, you can easily avoid the dangerous convergence with one woman and to stay true to the mother.
in addition to the proximity with the mother is not unimportant, and competition with dad. After all, if I won mom I won from the Pope. Here, by analogy with the development of a girls only competition with his father. Here recognition as the men, it turns out due to the number of "trophies ".
of Course, it is not all possible options of having a third in Your family. We're all unique, and the topic is very extensive.
But the emergence of the third in Your family gives reason to reconsider their needs and the needs of Your partner. This, in my opinion, gives the opportunity to look at ourselves and to change something. Without the support of a specialist to get out of such a situation is very difficult, because our behavior is formed. You can certainly break a relationship, but what is the probability that the next relationship will be different?
you Can, of course, do not create relations. But it is quite sad. Loneliness is good when there is somewhere to go.
You Decide!
And I wish to have in Your pairs of the third just wasn't there .
!
