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the Pain and heavy feeling in humans who have experienced trauma, often coming on like waves. That's kind of the ebb and you see a clear perspective, essential tasks, notice what you love, with enthusiasm to develop. And then suddenly inflated nostalgia for the lost opportunities, the fact that you had; anger at people who, not knowing what you create barriers; the despair of her helplessness; the envy of those with whom you were on par (and maybe front), and now they're ahead of you (e.g. in a career); the sadness of loneliness, because few others can know what you really; hurt on the loved ones who await your speedy recovery, which you can't speed up.
And so I want to get rid of all these experiences! But the mental straining probably didn't feel dead. He has calmed down forever. And the pain is a sign of the presence of soul and body (remember the saying: pain is any).
At the moment one of these tides I remembered that before injury occasionally experienced mental anguish. Most often the pain is localized in the gap between what "I have" and that I "could be". If I am able to recognize what is now and accept it as the only possible one to me; or to find a specific steps to change the situation, the pain gradually subsides.
Back pain is either acute shortage of something (e.g. sympathy, attention, recognition) or a surplus (for example, requirements of others, his irritation at something, anger at the constant violation of the borders, etc.) If I can detect what is missing and get it, or get rid of surplus, out to return to the world and specific people what is too much, the pain is replaced by a sense of relief and pleasure.
at First, the pain is experienced as an all-encompassing sense. About what hurt me? Yes about everything! What exactly do I have feelings? Come know. Just bad to me and that's it! If my recognition of pain will remain at this level, the pain may take a very long time. It is necessary to say that this is still a good level of attention, if I ask such questions. Most people tend to ignore chronic pain. This tension and discomfort are present in them constantly, affecting the contact with the outside world. But it is not focused, strongly detracting from it, or explains some clichés, like my head hurts from the weather.
If you do manage to focus on the outlines of the pain, to feel it and understand what it's about, what hurts the soul, it is possible to take some steps to comfort. For example, after a spinal injury, I miss skating and bike in the summer, for me this lesson was a lot valuable: a sense of freedom, a pleasant travel experience in nature, a sense of connection and interesting communication with friends cyclists. The next step may be humility: to ride a bike I am now / or can't. I recognize that this opportunity for me is limited, I'll look for fun, to place these values in other Hobbies (for example will ride on the ATV, which was essentially a manual operation, are attracted to this occupation friends). Or this step will be associated with action aimed at change: to ride a bike I need to restore adequate mobility and stability of the feet (if possible). For this I need certain rehabilitation activities that I will perform and then the following summer (or later) I will be able to get Biking together with my friends.
Or another example: after injury, some family members began to communicate with me as a kid, to tell me what I should do and what not, like I have damaged the brain, not spinal cord. It makes me very angry, caused a lot of heartache, but their claims I've been holding back because of guilt (I thought that very to blame for what happened). At some point I tired to go into guilt (which only increased my pain) and expressed their resentment and grievances openly. I said, despite the fact that in it is dependent and in need of assistance, I remain for adults person and ready to decide and to answer for the many issues that concern my life and health. Much easier and not only me. Relatives, too, exhaled, if they recognize me for adults, they do not need excessively to care about me (care to spend a lot of effort), it is enough to help me where really needed help.
That is, in working with emotional pain, it is important to take three steps:
1. To acknowledge its presence (not to ignore)
2. To focus (pay attention, don't try to distract from it) and find its causes
3. To accept (if you change nothing is possible) / to find an action that will change the situation
interestingly, even if by your actions the situation is changing slowly, then do the steps on the path to change (for example, regular physical therapy sessions, if possible, restore motion) bring considerable relief. Of course, if you're doing this conscious of the cause of the pain and the steps needed to change the situation. Action for the sake of action, for what the smart people said "I must" facilitate no one ever got.
the Pain helps to find yourself living and want something to review, to admit the inevitable, or to change important aspects of their lives, take up valuable internal solutions. Meanwhile, there are several ways to make the pain of a protracted, chronic:
1. Constantly ignore it, to distract yourself from the outsiders (TV, crawling the Internet, empty talk "about anything", etc.)
2. To us abundant food (to eat), or chemicals (alcohol, drugs)
3. Mesmerize yourself with samarbeidende, such as is often recommended by women the mantra: "I am the most beautiful and attractive no matter what". We always know the truth about yourself, even if you don't admit to that. Therefore, this persuasion can only be called a very strong moral conflict and thus further intensify the pain.
will discuss in more detail in the third way, as it most often different people (including psychologists) recommend to the survivors of any trauma. It looks like it works keeping a person in a single pole (instead of support, balance, equilibrium, homeostasis) and when suddenly the person lets go of control, then abruptly plunges in the opposite condition (converted from the finest to the worst). Very hard to take yourself balanced: I'm not a great hero, but not the last monster. I'm just a man with your feelings, objectives, history, opportunities and limitations. And I have a right to pain, exactly like on the fun. Both has in my life has their own reasons, their own unique meaning. I need to know.
Thank you for your attention.
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