When my daughter was four, I decided to take her to the dance. Development of the child, you know! But my baby was against such of their development and strongly did not want to dance fast dancing with a boy who constantly stepped on her feet. Violation of personal boundaries of the child was evident. After several "drives" the child to the dance, I got a firm "no". I confess that in the course went offer to purchase her a Lollipop, but the child was relentless.
But there is a silver lining! In the Palace of children's creativity, where I took daughter to a dance, were set adult in a group of ballroom dancing. I have great inspiration started in this group.
Our teacher was a professional (I think he won prizes at regional competitions in sport dancing).
For the life of me remember a single episode. Men in the group were not. All girls of different ages had one partner, is our teacher.
Worked out once we dance in pairs. What, now can not remember. I only remember that contact during the dance were tight, and had to "go" for a partner.
at First it was hard for me. Legs were confused, I was stressed. But after a few steps I was in the flow ... literally disappeared in the dance. He led, I followed him. He turned around, I changed the movement. He accelerated, I'm with him. And everything was so harmonious, that even in the face of a coach could be read: "Yes, that's it!"
a few years later I had a different experience. To ballroom dancing, we went with a friend already in another city (!) The band was great, and I had a partner. So the thrill of the couples dance was quite different. Partner was the same "raw", as I do, so to be in the flow worked.
I tried hard not to make mistakes and the tension was "my everything." I controlled myself, partner and even how I look during this "outrage") Partner diligently deduced the PA, not paying any attention to my attempts to keep everything under control. The pair did not happen, to dissolve did not work.
by the Way, if wings were able to witness our couple, he would have written a different fable: "When the consent of the dance, no...") And more about this can be seen in "the Jazz only girls": - "Daphne, You're leading again!")
Then I could compare the feel of the dance master and lover.
Then I realized that the need to dance with those who are more talented and more experienced.
the experience has helped me to understand, if you are strong by nature and you have shown leadership qualities, it is possible to tie my life to a man, which is something stronger than you.
Then your dance happen and it will lead you.
If not, lead your partner have you. What it is, and probably do know...
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Your therapist Olga Fedoseeva
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