Now I read the forum and it gave me the idea of this article. We are all guilty of manipulation, especially when aktualisierte our values and we want them to meet for a quickie, without taking into account the values of the other party.
by the Way, the core values that are behind the manipulations have long described the Bible with different sauces))) So the roots of manipulation are very ancient.
1) Vanity. Behind it can stand a deliberate demonstration of their abilities, talents, striking features, ties to status people, etc.
2) Greed. Fear of material well-being, neudovletvorennosti material resources.
3) Social and religious beliefs. Simple - our Belief about how this world is arranged.
4) the Relations of the sexes, the differences between the sexes, the desire to please the opposite sex.
5) Sense of justice. It actualizarea when - as it seems - underestimate us, when the boundaries are violated when someone breaks with their "other than our" map of reality
6) Curiosity, excitement. The desire to test the strength, and lice.
7) Trust. Fear of rejection, loyal, misunderstood.
8) Safety. A sense of security, stability, predictability.
9) Physiological comfort. It directly affects our mood (when we are rested, well fed and we have no pain - we good)
so manipulation.
Let's consider on examples drawn me from forum)))
Paraphrase of your question and return it to You. It is a kind of provocation in anticipation of Your explanations and excuses (sometimes helps in the treatment - as it forces You to look up words and explain. At that time you sometimes begin to better themselves, to understand their motives and goals).
But in other contexts - it can be pattern forming, You have low self-esteem or neurotic reaction. Ie the subtext of the message: "Well, what do you mean?" - giving You the insight
- that You are incompetent in the subject to generally ask questions
- asked the obvious question,
- ask a stupid question,
asked in so many words, that given Your incompetence,
asking a question that nobody understood, etc.
Methods extinction manipulations:
1) the Assessment of reaction. Curious reaction, a strange reaction strange reaction....
2) Clarification of intent. Why do You ask me what I just asked You(a)?
3) Clarification of the identity of the manipulator. You as a person so I ask with what intention?
4) the boomerang. How do You react when Your question answer Your question?
5) Thanks. Thanks for the (sincere interest, an opinion, a desire to clarify the situation). It's a powerful technique - allows you to arise to the conflict and all parties maintain their dignity.
6) Ignoring. Responding only to the part of utterance that is a neutral
7) a description of the context. I turned to You for help and don't understand Your behavior: are You asking me questions that I just asked you, didn't explain why you're doing this it looks like manipulation... etc
8) Exaggeration. And then You ask me why I answer Your question, those words that meet. Torture me why I chose this theme of the issue, when in my head I came up with this idea and why I'm asking the obvious?
9) Turning into a joke. I ask the question, its obvious stupidity, and for this reason it is naive to expect an answer, not another question)))
In conclusion, I want to wish You - be honest with yourself, because the manipulation is often not aware of the paddle!
!
