Today we will talk about the first mistake adults that makes it difficult to understand children and get along with them.
Remember the parent phrase or, maybe you've heard how other parents communicate with their children :
- Not!
- don't touch!
- don't shout!
- be quiet!
- don't touch the Poo!
- do Not run!
- be still (exactly, quietly)!
- Quickly go to sleep!
- don't slurp!
- be quiet! And so my head hurts!
- Play quiet!
FIRST MISTAKE: excessive demands and unreasonable restrictions.
Constantly repeating these phrases the children adults turn them into spells, which operate in children exactly the opposite. Children start behaving even worse, hostile and act out of spite.
As you have noticed, these phrases often begin with the particle "not", i.e. denial. There is a modern hypothesis of the philosopher Girenko F. I. up to a certain age children do not respond to the denial. That is, formally they understand the words with the particle "ne-", but in the flow of speech, this particle is simply lost, as if looking up from the words that follow. The result is that the adults consider "child harm" can be just by automaticity and unawareness.
in addition, its negative setting adults initially biased and distrustful of children, and this creates a desire to contradict, to argue and prove the opposite.
the Child by nature is not able to be obedient, quiet, submissive, and this is confirmed by the American psychologist and educator Alan Fromm and writer Lev Davydychev:
"it is Impossible to demand from children that they without damage to their psyche to behave as adults."
Adults - is, in General, good people. But they have a drawback: they often forget that in their own time were small. They forgot, for example, that inside each boy is inserted the motor. And this motor produces a lot of energy, if the boy will sit quietly for more than seventeen minutes, it may explode. Therefore, we have to run at breakneck speed, fighting, biting, name-calling - not-explode!"
in addition, the language of the adult is often insincere and cunning character. For example, the words of an adult "should", "should", "right" often refers to something else: "convenient", "advantageous", "easy".
Adults constantly strive to "adapt" children to "his needs, her needs, interests". Strong employment, hurry parents to forcibly speed up the life process of the child and hence his natural resistance and natural disturbance...Sometimes the desire of an adult is simply not commensurate with children's abilities and adult rather inclined to label the child than to put yourself in the place of the child.
In the struggle for obedience works best not a mechanical prohibitions and abstract requirements, and competent organization and create a positive atmosphere. And it would be better when parents all his strength and resources of education will direct the involvement of the child in a positive and productive activities, an introduction to something interesting, useful, meaningful.
to be Continued...
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