the Art of insight and emotional regulation in psihologicheskom online counseling
(Part 2: the Therapists in the eyes of clients: clinical vignettes)
This article continues the series on Western techniques of psychotherapy online psychological consultations.Material vignettes taken from the discussion of my article about the professional growth of the therapist in supervision : "Difficult customers: the role of the clinical supervisor", published on my website vy-terapevt.org and in the community “ru_psiholog” , which works as a psychotherapeutic group online.
Practical psychologists, working with "transference" and "countertransference", often encounter a situation where the client brings to our office the animosity he had felt for the previous therapists. It is easy to notice that the feeling can be quite intense, and with it, our clients often consciously or unconsciously, test our loyalty. On whose side we are on them, or on the side of the colleagues whom they criticize?
in order to go beyond the proposed client paradigm "with us or against us", an active empathetic listening , recognition of the importance of customer experience and sincere interest in the details of the events and their importance.
( in the dialog I call myself a "consultant", and sharing the experience with the therapists companion "client".)
Client: Ugh.... I right turns from this "professional growth". I had this therapist who refused me for years.... (As a result of the fact a miracle..... not over my suicide), Although, when all the suffering has finally ended and I finally found a suitable expert, it became clear that this first (in the process of production of this retreve it was clear) didn't fit me as a therapist......, but it is his strict modality is contraindicated for people with such disorders as me (heavy travmatiki and the guards, that is.). Yet that therapist was rife, so she took me not for the money, and even then, what You write to practice and expand their professional competence. br>
And here I have one and a half years tormented by the question. Tell me, is it possible to deepen and expand their expertise in, say, mice or rats, but not at the expense of health and life of other people? Or is it fiction?
In surgery, for example, the death of a client on the operating table (as far as I know) entails the clarification of the circumstances of death and punishment, if any will be found. br>
psychotherapy is not the case?
Consultant :See, You're angry with your therapist, and Your review painted anger. And did You find your therapist?
Customer: yeah, now yeah, fortunately (found). But how many spear broken, nearly a year was spent on a rather hard, painful work.
Consultant :I am very glad to hear that You found your therapist! Why do You think Your former therapist is "experimented" on You? And what was so painful in a relationship with her? And how this "musicalnote" You could not experience in the relationship with Your current therapist?
Customer: Thank you, my pleasure.
Why do you think that experimented on me? Well, modality her so-called postmodern. There at them it is accepted, apparently. Just have clients stronger, fitter, and are more vulnerable (well, not for me to explain). Apparently, I just could not resist. Let me give an example, and that absolutely nothing is clear. Well, for example, one session was held in a room where there is a repair. That is, I was of doors, profile and God knows what else. The therapist answered the phone calls during the session. It was quite difficult and painful. Then, the therapist was used there during the session........, well, not soup, of course, with pancakes, (the little things something) but...... still, it disturbed me...... She was late often. Probably 12-15 sessions definitely late. Then when I decided to end therapy, and we worked with last session, I felt that our relationship was not completed and asked for another 2-3 session. (at the end) To this I replied that the next meeting is possible only if I return to therapy at 1 year (at least)...... I don't know, I think that the basic I have listed. Because we worked in the current therapy, as I said, perhaps something could be erased from memory.
Well, actually, it was painful - the lack of setting. And, perhaps, empathy or what I would like is more. Pause at the sessions was quite long.. as I was explained later, this is often very frustered client. (for all of humanity I will not say, but I was definitely frustrirani). Anyway, it was too early to frustrate today, well, we even the Alliance really did not work (psychotherapy). I now know when it happened with another therapist.
in short, I guess we just weren't right for each other.
And with the current terom just have a hard setting (which, I really, sometimes letting fall out (at the time), but to ME, not yourself.... This is important.) And in this approach I was conscious. The rector of the University in which I studied my therapist listened (presentation in a popular science program), the article read. Subscription journal published by the UNIVERSITY for 8 years across. In General terms, realized that for people........... Well, that's work. All glory to God. Ugh, ugh, ugh. (And then, to leave his my therapist (today) was preparing me a month and a half, I guess. And my anger at her on this occasion turned prematurely and it was her and not left to boil in me. And I am thrilled. What to do, apparently, I'm the most difficult customer, about which You write... Well, I can stay a while with his anger for a week. It's not in my forces. Alas.)
(Well, perhaps the anger something a little bit left still.... (but to jump off a roof I do not pull)) is a painful job (sometimes almost torture). Not to say that it was a useless year...., lost, not at all. (I even thank them) But still, you know, I think there is a time in human life for experimentation, trial extreme, crazy and desperate jerks (probably is 16-25.), and there is a time......, well, not to collect stones (and reap the rewards... God forbid), but at least a little to feel the ground under my feet. And experiment is 30, having neither house nor home (no job, no family, no relations...).. well, wasteful or something, I don't know. br>
Yes, you're mad at your ex, you're right. (the therapist, I mean) Although, in today's therapy, we pretty well worked this theme, I think. But, apparently, these things are forgotten soon, if ever forgotten.
Consultant:No, You are quite the opposite: You are not "difficult", and "well terpilovsky" client - that is, the client, a lot of work in therapy, able to seek and find help. I agree with You: setting is very important. I don't know what she called the "post-modern", but I assure You, is at the client and answer ALL calls not accepted. Exceptions are specified in advance with the client - for example, the therapist says that will only answer phone calls from clients in crisis.
But Your current therapist keeps setting, and it's great that You manage to Express her anger, and she gives You for this time and place.
Customer: Oh.. well thank you for the kind words. As a balm for the soul....
Consultant: As You write your essay about the relationship with the therapists.
Customer: Hmm..... Interesting idea. I never thought about it. However, my theme is - heavy beanbag gun and problems with the separation....., in short, the seamy side every. It is clear that the moderators do not miss. So I'm on the listening position. (Will have to get used here.)
But, anyway, thank You for the idea! (and I hope it's not a hint that I signed (excessively) in Your theme? However, reading messages and double meanings - this is my profession... It's the best I can do in life.)
:-)
Consultant - Write on health! And what You call "dill" - common problems which many in the writing community. If You are interested to talk about yourself if You are ready for a calm and thoughtful conversation - write.
Customer:Thanks for the kindness. (I am pleased) When and if ripe, will write (as long as the therapist meets this my great need... when you need...., to talk about me, I mean. Even nothing to ask. Not a single question. Some of the answers.)(sigh of pleasure)
:-)
Consultant : It is very nice to hear, you can write about your fun great therapist.
Customer: .... I never thought that was possible. Now I'll know. Thanks for the idea!
As you can see from this dialogue, the client entered into the conversation, angry at the therapists themselves, with the support of the consultant was able to analytically approach the problem, and anger to move on to the fun from the relationship with the current therapist and the awareness of their own contribution to treatment.
!
