the Shadow. Mirror. Screen.
As writes K. G. Yung, a person who owns a Shadow, is always on the way. Denying its existence, he gives people an unfavorable (or negative) impression, and he rejects their real life prospects. Luck walks past him, forcing him to live below the level of their capabilities, in the eternal (hidden) resentment and the struggle for life.
Who wants such a perspective? Convinced that nobody. Let's clarify the question.
To the question "what is a shadow?" - can be answered with different levels of knowledge. In the dictionary S. I. Ozhegov the nine senses of the word. Here is one of them: "Dark reflection on something from the object illuminated from the opposite side."
And now bole it becomes clear that K. G. Yung in the work "the Archetype and the collective unconscious" speaks about the shadow: "the Shadow personifies everything that the subject refuses to recognize in himself..."
In the concept of C. G. Jung's Shadow archetype of the unconscious, in which is accumulated all the repressed human feelings, impulses, thoughts, ideas.
ie. the shadow is what we hide from ourselves, but throw it a reflection on others and see the manifestation that we don't like – like the so-called dark side (remember the definition of the shadow Ozhegova).
In other movements, the exercises are variously called is a manifestation. The most prominent and most popular Mirror. In psychotherapy the term "Screen".
How is it manifested?
for Example, often we (or rather our consciousness) renounce all criticism and all misery searching for the culprit "on the side" and not in his own soul. Or is a typical reaction of most people is the desire to change the person you see. To do it to others. About the same thing we want to do with our display in the mirror if we do not like.
Watch the person of your entourage, who criticizes others. If he criticizes them for their disrespectful behavior — examine carefully for himself. Of course, you will find that it lacks respect for others. He may interrupt the speaker to give advice to someone who does not ask, it can "clip" on the road another driver. In other words, in his own way behaves disrespectfully — not necessarily exactly the way they criticize people, but clearly - with little respect.
And when You ask the person: "do you Feel that sometimes insufficiently respectful of other people?" he usually will answer: "Never! I'm so frustrating when I see disrespect, and I'm very careful. I personally treat everyone with respect."
You can argue: "Only that I watched was talking to you Alex, and you several times he was interrupted. Do you consider such behavior disrespectful?"
Convinced that he will appreciate your behavior differently. He'll probably say, "No, I don't see the disrespect. I just wanted to help him. I interrupted him because I was afraid to forget, and it was important for him."
We all do. We really don't want to make our behavior seem the same as those whom we criticize, whose behaviour we are unhappy, who have caused our indignation. So when we are talking about ourselves, we have a completely different consider, explain and describe exactly the same behavior.
If You are one of those who can't stand when they lie, tell a lie, strongly lead in the direction of the conversation, then follow him closely, you'll notice that you often and ourselves — how to say this tactfully is to say "not quite" the truth. And if someone will notice: "When you talked to Sasha about Mary, you really thought so?", you will probably answer: "No, I didn't think so; but if I said what do you think it would be rude, that would've hurt my friend. I wasn't lying; I tried to spare his feelings."
Each of us will find a thousand and one apology and excuse for his behavior, but would not admit that acts exactly the same as those whom he criticizes, or whose behavior arouses resentment.
This means that we are afraid of his own shadow, giving him often, even in the most ridiculous of their actions.
by the Way, one of the signs. This is when people are clearly dissatisfied with his life, but resists all change. Familiar? You offer a lot of options how to solve his problem - he says "Yes, this is great!" – but I never said you have the phone number of the technician does not come to meet with you to take the book, etc. This person obviously consciously or unconsciously displaces something of themselves, not recognizing it for real, suppressing every desire to pay this tribute, not knowing that, often, the suppression and displacement leads to the fact that the shadow begins to rule his life.
the Wise men long ago came to the conclusion that it is useless to deny the Shadow or try to suppress it. People need to find ways to live the dark side of his personality — this often depends on his mental, mental and physical health. Is it possible to completely take all your shadows? Let's be honest - make all your shadows - no.
However, most work can be done now, integrating many of them, and thus significantly improve their quality of life, to approach the implementation of their cherished dreams.
You ask: "But still, can't make shadows, and fully to suppress them"? The danger of a complete suppression of any of the Shadows that, in this case it grows in the unconscious to a large, unruly size, and at every opportunity will break out and override the whole person, the proverb "still waters run deep".
the less you take something, the more it clings to you. If you pay attention to the behavior of the child, who is constantly chased from the parents? It is gradually becoming more and more restless, agitated, annoying. It requires more and more attention because of being rejected for him unbearably.
same thing here - the more you reject some part of themselves — be it on a physical level or psychological — the more this part requires your attention, gaining in magnitude and significance. This part of you seeks recognition, she wants to take place. And only once adopted and approved, it will no longer seek to fill.
the adoption of the Shadow requires a considerable moral effort and often destroys the most lovely heart ideals. But, it is only because they are too high or are based on illusions.
is it Possible to minimize moral effort and reduce the time of integration (adoption) of these shadows? of Course, this and designed algorithm of integration of the Shadow, which perfectly make all what we said above, in minutes.
For independent work recommended to ponder the following - if the shadow was only evil, then it would be aproblem. But the shadow is not that entirely bad. A shadow is something unsuitable, that we are unable to enter in your cultural use. Part shade included and valuable qualities, for example, childishness, youthfulness, which would update and brighten our lives.
to learn more about yourself if you are like a Mirror what you admire in others. When you admire a certain trait of character of a person, it is because you actually do not believe themselves to have this ability: you do not believe that can be like this man.
however, if you admire someone's kindness, organization, or the ability to listen is a sign that you possess these qualities.
"How can it be? If I'm really organized and I love organization, why it doesn't manifest itself in my daily life?"
to Make their own internal quality to be organized stopping you is fear. Just as he's stopping you to accept your mistakes and failures. However, it is strange that people do not believe in their good qualities? The question is: "Why did You decide not to be who You want to be?"
How to find the answer?
If you really admire someone's organization, ask yourself the following question: "What would happen to me unpleasant, not very desirable, if I allowed myself to be organized?" If the answer is no, go on and ask: "Whom I knew in the past who seemed very organized? Did something unpleasant, confusing because of its organization?" or "What unpleasant can happen to very organized people?"
These questions will help you pull out the light you live in fear. You probably believe that organized people lose spontaneity, liveliness, romance, and to be honest, they are arrogant and boast of their organization, compared to others, etc. If you have this belief, then you are afraid that they will lose the liveliness and spontaneity will become arrogant, pretentious braggart, one has only to begin to discover their ability to be organized.
