You may have seen the stories from Finland about how the government took children from the Russians only because of the fact that the girl complained that the Pope slapped her. What can you say about corporal punishment? Bring they harm or are an integral method of influence on the child?
On this issue, I will present my point of view, which includes my professional position and the position of mothers having the experience of raising three children.
In Finland deystvitelnosti such laws on corporal punishment.
excerpts from the act about guardianship and the right to access:
Chapter 1 – General provisions. Article 1 – Guardianship
(2) the Child should receive good care and upbringing as well as supervision and protection appropriate to their age and stage of development. A child should be educated in a safe and stimulating environment and receive an education that corresponds to his inclinations and desires.
(3) the Child should be educated in a safe environment with understanding and tenderness. It should not be suppressed, to be free of corporal punishment or humiliated in any other way. Growing up the child, independence and accountability should be supported and encouraged.
In Finland, the laws apply to crimes committed on the territory of the country, regardless of who the offender and who the victim. This is evidenced by the first Chapter of the Penal code. Thus, the act applies also to persons who do not have Finnish citizenship or live in Finland permanently.
it is Difficult to disagree with such laws! But experience of life shows different.
According to surveys, parents have no common opinion about this law – some believe that children should have equal rights with adults for protection, others believe that spanking is a private matter and politicians must not interfere in it. And it is from the UK originally saying, "Spare the rod, spoil the child".
Corporal punishment is indeed effective as a method for rapid impact on the child, smacked the kid immediately agrees with parent requirements.
But from the perspective of the education of physical punishment of children is absolutely meaningless. As the spanking slows emotional development and the ability to think critically. Children begin to focus not on social norms and safety rules, and develop its strategy terms: approve, not approve, notice, believe, cry-forgive, etc. In this situation simulates the behavior depending on the circumstances. And the circumstances of the case is very changeable and so they fall again and again. On the one hand this creates a new portion of the slaps. On the other - kids learn to lie anymore, to adapt to our sometimes inadequate requirements! It is a vicious circle.
As a result of the constant punishment is closure or overt resistance, sometimes steenie anger and resentment, which then trickle down to younger brothers and sisters, peers, and may even go into criminal violence.
the children are bodily punished at the age of three to five years, almost always have problems in sexual development, in relations with the opposite sex, they develop cruelty are more likely to have obsessive-compulsive disorder, feelings of guilt, inferiority, Punishment early adolescence are further problems with alcohol or drugs and other mental disorders.
Sure, sometimes there are situations where spanking can quickly stop the child in actions that may threaten his life and health, when there is no time to explain is wrong, dangerous behavior! But life often happens: parents in a fit of anger tear your emotions on a defenceless man, and then, even if there is remorse, will never show you!
Watch on the street, in a store..., evaluate your actions - we are all susceptible to certain patterns of behavior. And it's mostly not our fault but our misfortune. We act mechanically, according to long-established habits of society, orientirueshsya to others, to their opinions, which often will approve a raised tone of voice, a slap, a flick than an explanatory conversation with the child in a friendly atmosphere.
Parents must always remember and understand that the problems of the child, his incorrect response is primarily our fault! Children are like litmus paper absorb the atmosphere in which they live and have not yet learned how to hide its flaws and reflect them in their behavior.
Also do not forget that there are a lot of children with defined special needs, disorders, disabled children... They behave quite differently and often inadequate. To take it out on them, and corporal punish – it is utter ignorance on our part.
I agree with the educational system of Japan, which States: "a Child is a gift of God." We should appreciate that we are allowed not only to see how is growing a new person, with their own abilities and dreams, but also to participate in its formation and personal development! Being a parent is a great happiness!
P. S. should be Golden mean. Children certainly need to learn to understand what is and what is not. That threatens their health and that included in the limits of decency, rules of conduct and social norms. Misinterpretation of methods of discipline, permissiveness and impunity are the other side. A bright example of the result of the life of our family. Recently I witnessed the behavior of their six-year-old nephew in Germany, where they reside. In a joint visit to the shop he wanted, so he bought a toy vending. The word "No", followed whims, he fell to the floor, started crying. Parents were compelled to grant his request, because he knew (and the child not only knew, but understood in his age, how to use it) that now the police will come and fine them for improper handling of a child. That's it!
How to eliminate corporal punishment and to raise the child? How to switch the attention of the cranky child and to avoid the manifestation of his anger in the form of aggression? Read the materials in the following article on my author's website.
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