In this article, I'll practice the revitalization of the domestic adult, and also write why you need it at all. br>
why do have to activate your inner adult?Let's start with the theory of ego-States of transactional analysis: each person in each time activated one of the three ego-States: Parent, Adult or Child.
Parent is the ego States that are copied from parents or other significant figures in childhood.
Adult is impartial ego-state is a computer that collects data about the world through sensory organs and processes it logically and, if necessary, predicts the development of the situation.
Child - ego-as you move, say, think, feel, perceive the world the same as you did in childhood up to 7 years.
When clients approach me for assistance with a particular problem:
- fails to build relationships with her husband,
- cannot find a man,
- lost sexual desire and so on,
in most cases, the cause appeals to intrapersonal conflict between Parent and Child.
for Example:I was approached by a client who was suffering from psychological impotence - in the process it turned out that his Child has long been not want to have sex with his wife because she all their feminine warmth and attention was given to the children, and the client got it from her demands and accusations. Sex wife not wanted, and only allowed the client to "have fun" with her.
the Parent of this men did not allow him to divorce (what about the children?), neither a mistress (what will people say?).
In the end, this conflict between Parent and Child client led to impotence, because of the ego-the condition of the Child is responsible for communication with the body and for the pleasure in sex as a rebellion against the ban of a Parent for a change of partner - Child "shut off" the possibility of sex in psychological impotence.
the Task of resolving this conflict is the task of the Adult ego-state, for example, in this example, the Adult has at least three choices:
- to Establish a relationship with his wife,
If you have the last two options give rise to emotions of anger (how could this happen!?), it might be your Parent protests against these options, right?
For an Adult each of the options possible, he will "hear" the ethical principles of the Parent (Yeah, how well a lover or get divorced!?) and "want and don't want" Child - and make a decision. By the way, Adult is free to choose the way how to establish a relationship with his wife and to implement it, because in a complex relationship with his wife is also often conflict between Parent and Child (in this case only one of the conflicting States is a Parent or Child-wife).
However, when the client came for advice, it means that his strength is not Adult enough to resolve this conflict, so he needs help to transition into an Adult ego-state.
Next, I will talk about practices of activation of the Adult sessions and independently by the client
the Practice of enhancing Adult messiaha asking the client to stand behind the chair on which he had been sitting, and to talk about what he sees on his chair (what is happening now is that the client feels, and so on) from a third party.
This allows the client to "get out of the situation" and to strengthen their Adult - like he gives advice to friend/friend is always much easier than talking about yourself.
Practice self-enhance Adult
1. Adult is the awareness, the ability to possess the facts, so the task of its activation is different practices inventory: for example, ask yourself questions: in what ego state am I now?, is accounting practices: time, money, etc. - any exercise on inventory of reality.
2. For faster results, I give the individual exercises on inventory "inner reality" is the practice by increasing awareness of the "Inner honesty", which gave Sri Ammabhagavan :
It is to monitor your thoughts, emotions, sensations that occur inside: the vision of what is happening inside without condemnation , justification or explanation.
This practice should be run for 21 days without a break, if you will stop 1 day, then you have to start over.
You sit with your back straight, close my eyes, and within 49 minutes watching your thoughts, emotions, sensations that occur inside. You see what's going on inside without condemnation , justification or explanation - just watch.
When you do this, you will find that you've uncovered the real problem (intensified Adult), and the energy resides not only within you, but also changed externally, and has a very positive and beneficial impact on the resolution of the situation.
Author: Psychologist Eugene Korchmarek