do we Know how to argue properly? Is it possible to argue worthy, beautiful, with sense, without the constant escape in the direction of the subject of the dispute, thereby distancing ourselves from what we were planning to discuss what the dispute was started. We will not touch here, veiled disputes in politics, sports, arts, education, and other global areas.
Talk, or rather philosophize about everyday disputes in the everyday sense of this understanding. In a highly abridged version of the dispute is verbal sparring (competition) in order to defend their opinion. However, it is not a secret that sometimes in the heat of altercation, we are addicted to the energies of the dispute, the opportunity to speak, to tell the opponent what she wanted, but if confused in words, to effectively run away, slamming the door.
Often it happens that in the course of the dispute we completely forget what you wanted this hour to convey to the opponent. "Escoceses red-hot, boiling and splashing", forgetting decorum, delicacy, image, degree of kinship, and all in the world, we ARGUE! And now, in mind float the images five years ago or even more ancient times... a Lot is going to turn to infringing on the once again close, to remind him what he is "so-so" - sometimes screaming, crying, sometimes throwing dishes and all that arm will fall.
Call those moments "happy spores", which can end very badly.
dispute Dispute strife! If the dispute is between two people occurs spontaneously, that they have very little time to determine what to argue. Always better then a quick anchor, weight the subject of the dispute: if someone today wants to go for bread, and is actively advancing this reluctance, it is not necessary to remind him that "last winter, he/she bought milk after work for coffee." Or "Remember how the world sat by your mercy, broke the last light bulb!". Or, suddenly, out of nowhere (and just wanted something to watch!), a discussion ensued on the plot of a movie: one it seems pointless pastime, and the other saw in the film a lot of interesting and useful. It would be easier than to pick up that attracts both!?
And so, finds a cut diamond, so much so that only sparks fly! Ignites and fuels the dispute-the argument is unnecessary, even hostile provocative catchphrase: "You're only one and nothing like it!"
And here begins about anything, not only about the film:
- But you like snotty melodrama, and the neighborhood gossip!
- why did you all take? When you're with me for the last time calmly talking to?
- And what you Yes your mom say?
- what does the mom do?
- And it was necessary for a mother to watch, but to make conclusions. I told my my mom that you are....
(Well, and further well-known scenario...)
If the problem can be felt for a long time, and sees her only one person, but he didn't have the ability or courage to identify, also not good: the problem becomes hard, viscous, barbed, painful. When there is a forced argument on the subject, the opponent gets the case, and also for the fact that " I have suffered so much and suffered/eh, and you didn't notice, even!".
it Turns out that to argue in any case difficult, energy consuming, and almost always not environmentally friendly. Same stupid and pointless argument-the argument is even more exhausting, draining even more undermines faith in yourself, and in fact, arguing with someone. However, if you try wyznaczeni for yourself at here and now at least part of what is sure to achieve in a dispute today and adhere to the "General line", it is possible to argue (disparity!) it is quite productive. Sometimes it is vital and necessary in many ways, especially when it concerns children, family, health, work, material or territorial distributions.
With respect to the reader,
the Psychologist Lyudmila Starostin.
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