the Family system is the mystery that sometimes is impossible to solve. And so you want. After all, members of a family system, its customs, attitudes, rules, content depends on the life of each subsequent it appeared.
I Think it is no secret that the family system is important to all, especially those whose existence hushed up, whose presence is undesirable and whose actions are not approved. Why? In plain language - this is due to the fact that in the place of silence, a voltage is applied. And all the voltage is prone to explosion. But exploding elsewhere. And therefore will be affected.
But today we will focus on the tension in the existing system. I.e. among the living and still alive. The fact is, any system needs something to hold on to. On something that would not allow this system to collapse. Love, as we know, very quickly, and so often is not the glue that would keep in a relationship. There is something more significant - illness, death, care. It is no secret that funeral to get people easier than on the Day of birth. Grief unites. The mountain holds. So Woe is the big anchor for the family members.
Common containment systems are drunks. Yes, they are a lot of grief, but they accumulate a lot of energy kind. Which means they are in the system, and therefore surrounded by people, and as a consequence of relief inside yourself, and surrounding yourself by the people.
the Sick child - the situation is complex, well so much restraint in the pair that it is better to not come up with, sorry for such a harsh reception.
View from the other side - the family has a mistress. That means that the degree of anxiety so high that you want another person to this degree lower. And in this case that appeared in the family of the woman should thank, someone could have been something much worse, like in the previous example. And your lover is a temporary position. It only indicates a problem in the family.
And here's another example. In the family of horribly evil father. Well, so much that everyone is scared of him. Excluded from the family system it does not work for various reasons, and one of them is his anger, in part of which accumulates a lot of energy: all members of the household are always talking only about his anger, talk about the consequences on the victims of his anger. And therefore shrink all around this problem, which unites them. Often it turns out that after the disappearance of such a villain, the system just falls apart. So this sinister was just such a task. He was called to restrain the system. she held it on him.
the Mother who gave birth to triplets, and did not wish to deal with them suddenly in a car accident loses her husband. And forced to raise them alone. If the husband was, she would do as her mother to abandon them even in the hospital. So her husband saved children from loneliness.
it is Very important, once in a new family, it I am now about the couple that no one was appointed as "scapegoat". Before getting married, I bet people love each other. But in addition to love, they have more generic tasks. Like the girl in whatever was necessary to have many children. But in the family her husband's children were dead, and not to feel the pain they have was thought that children better not to have it. And then the marriage either breaks, or the husband is forced to leave the family, to not feel fear, or that his children were alive in another system, the system of his wife.
I Often hear that after the death of one of the family members who played a role, and thereby supporting the viability of the system, someone from the remaining takes on his role, down to copying its traits, relevant to anything. And then the system continues to live.
As shown in the examples, it is usually negative circumstances brings people together. Bad for the system is the ability to unite. Bask together. Especially if there is no other fastening mechanism.
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