- I relate well to the child, but if you look at your heart, you will see there the void.
- I barely hug the child and rarely say a kind word.
- Time with the child. I have enough for 2-3 hours, then want to escape.
- dread the weekends, because the child will have all day to get.
- Wait, when will bring to the garden, the school will give parents.
- If there would be an opportunity to leave, to quit – would have done it.
- Like I love, but I can't stand near. Start to feel irritated, suffocated.
- can't understand what are touched by other moms, watching the kids or talking about them.
- Forcing yourself to play stupid children's games, hanging out with a kid dying of boredom.
- Sometimes I start yelling at the child or unexpectedly slap him.
- Thinking about my life, I sadly think how much better it was, if not for the child.
- Mentally adjust child grow, to take care of him.
- In the head frequently POPs up the phrase "I'm a bad mother", despite the fact that your child doesn't need anything.
- the Feeling that I was deceived. Children are not a joy, but a pain in the ass.
- Reading these lines, I feel guilty and mentally give myself a promise of tomorrow start to pay more attention to the child.
the Maternal instinct of these women just the same. The concept of maternal instinct includes ensuring the physical survival of the child and learning his life in the environment. For comparison, an example with cats. Cat feed the kittens and teach them to climb trees, catch mice. And these moms are all doing it.
mothers who can't love their child there is no kind of emotional love. Why isn't she in the next article.
the mother
the Most important step will be to recognize and admit to my dislike. Surprisingly, this reduces the internal stresses and partial warming of the mother towards the child.
the Constant thought of "I'm a bad mother" includes a sense of guilt and can lead to depression, to disease. Maybe it's all right, just the woman herself believes that she doesn't love the child. Understand and eliminate.
the mothers jumping in the window with the babies, too, everything is heard. This is a manifestation of postpartum depression.
What else could happen? If you do not love the child, but running away from this thoughts, inside the growing conflict. It can lead to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). What is it expressed? The mother in my head start to spin thinking that she maybe accidentally with a knife or other sharp object to kill the baby. Or that could poison the food. Or that while walking a child hit by a car, her fault. A lot of options.
to Find the strength to go to a psychologist and to eliminate the causes. It will noticeably improve the relationship with the child. Don't need to love him under duress. And you will notice the positive internal changes for themselves.
the company
From the point of view of society can go two ways. the Position of an ostrich with head in sand. One of them is to prohibit all such thoughts. Twist at the temple. Call nizozemscina. To write in the network "need to burn these mothers," etc. Now the trend is dominant.
the Second way to acknowledge the problem and begin to solve it.
As a psychologist, man and woman, I choose the second path. If the mother is a priori supposed to love your child, how many patients whose relationship with her mother at best cool, at worst resentment, rejection, anger, hatred?
as therapists We know how important the love of mothers for the successful formation of the personality of the child for his future prosperous life. Sometimes this leads to condemnation of the mom, the one all the dogs on them. And I think it's not true. Because, if you dig the reasons why mom was the way she liked, we are faced with life's tragedy is already mother herself. And here I do not know whose trouble is more difficult: the child who for adults come on reception to the psychologist, or the mother who bore him. However, even in this most difficulty. And that these traumas are passed from generation to generation, unconsciously, not out of malice. And now you suddenly notice that you don't already love your child.
Each one of us
I honestly think what you need
- to allow in his mind the existence of the problem
- to leave aside the condemnation of such women.
for each case, and resolve it.
- to recognize the need to prepare women for the birth of children long before the pregnancy, if the identified risk factors (read my next article about the reasons of dislike of children)
If you have than share your pain, thoughts, feel free to contact me. You will not find condemnation and censure.
Consultation on Skype: starnk
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