CUSTOMER: Female, about 35 years old, a young mother and accountant
WORK FORM: personal (consultation+ EMDR*) Client is allowed to use the materials without specification of any personal data.
PROBLEM: a Strong fear of cockroaches, a complete loss of self control.
COCKROACHES — "wonderful" insects, which, for once, faced all my readers! Ah! How many bright emotions and feelings they evoke — these little prolific carriers of the plague!
And if most people grabbed his sneakers at the sight of a cockroach, with the words "Fu-u-u-ugly!" and disgust facial expression, the girl will be this article, only one kind of insect stuck in viscous condition, a mixture of confusion, panic and wild disgust — and Yes, to kill him she could only... Bay VARNISH and nothing else! Being in a stupor, she tried to cope with the wildly flashing in my head thinking "where the nail? how to take and not to scare HIM off. where did HE come from? but if a cockroach is SHE(?!) - run away and lay eggs?!".
These details show a small piece of the "charm" of blastopore — fear of cockroaches! But we don't stop there, go ahead* or from my previous story**.
a Key way of working is a huge clean transparent glass, standing in the middle of the kitchen client on the floor. The client is relaxed and comfortable... INSIDE the GLASS, where it is safe from cockroaches. From a glass she looks at the world around you — everything is wonderful, clean and these monsters not even seen!! But to stick his head out to her... scary thinking about it all the body back tenses — not to mention the fact to come out!!
You may be surprised, but the client in the first passage*, right out of the glass and realized that nothing had happened, stress was not - all is quiet! How so, out of Cup — life raft — like how you overcame your fear, while it took two sessions?!
But it was!!! The exit glass is only the first timid step towards myself and my fear, and Yes, it is too deeply hidden everything about his feelings, the origins and manifestations of this fear. After the new safe experience return let and clean to the point of sterility, be comfortable and need a glass, it was impossible — he was no longer the same as it was before, now has become cramped and not so comfortable.
With each pass, the hope of the client increased, it is all the more felt that I will never meet HIM and she won't need "life raft". In fact, so much effort exerted by the client, literally pushing myself out of comfort zone, where she could meet, well, you know who! And this courageous young woman, albeit still in his mind, stepping through the fear of meeting, after all, removed and cleaned the floor!
in Parallel, the hope of expanded and intensified border safe = clean area in the apartment, and dirt = the cockroaches retreated!!!
Glass, in contrast to becoming cleaner and more comfortable space around, saw all dirtier and dirtier, causing disgust. However, he remained in the apartment, it had a tough plant about the need to "island" — because "I can go back to glass if it becomes dangerous." Often had thoughts about what you need to get rid of this guarantor of security and at the same time the hand, as they say, was not raised! But it was located in the middle of the kitchen and greatly hurt to walk on it and get out.
Together with the changing images of the glass and the surrounding area changed the feeling of the client of its body, it gradually relaxed and became more soft and aerial... IN WORDS... what actually?!
AND IN FACT, sitting in front of me a girl with a pained smile and tense "collected in the lump" of the body. Here the place to recall the favorite game of the client in "hide and seek with itself," that is, accepting that now need to feel and sense for what she really feels!
Recognizing myself an expert at hiding after hidden from herself the sensations and the feelings, emotions, the client suddenly remembered...
...as a child, coming to visit the mother seated her on a chair and was giving instruction - good girls (and you're a good girl!?) behave calmly and sit quietly on a chair (if they have fun playing and accidentally laugh out loud or make a noise, others think that it is bad ill-mannered) — and the girl sat and waited.
the Accommodation of this memory, the resolution of the girl who "sat for many years on the chair," to get out of the chair and play, was the key point of the session. As if that was not a solution to move the client-the girl from the chair, and the resolution of client-adult to stop being a good girl, to become closer to yourself and hear to your body and feelings!!!
Allowing myself to just be and to leave this "boring chair", the client realized the tension in the body, which had not been recognized and were able to work out! Important was that from that moment the image of the apartments has changed — there started and completed repairs, updating and cleaning the apartment — newly renovated apartment no cockroaches!!!
And then the client has the house becomes a fortress, it is protected and secure and she is happy and RELAXED FOR REAL!!!
So you can smile and get pleasure from a fresh clean apartment and can finally WASH a DIRTY GLASS!!!This thought puts everything in its place — why throw the glass if it can be washed and used for its intended purpose, at the same time freeing up space on the floor!!! And the most important thing now don't need this "life raft" — now the space is safe!
So, as you know, the need for a protected space place-the glass fell off!!!
In my opinion, the glass is an image showing the client, the artificial barrier created by her to enhance the controllability of events, and separating it from various dangers and unpredictability of life. During the session she got a safe experience of being outside of the barrier, met with myself and found my outdated decision "to be good, at any cost"! Coming out of the glass and find him another more suitable application, the client expanded the scope of their reactions in stressful situations than lifted the tension that interfere with to cope with stupor a real meeting with these insects!
this fear of cockroaches I see an attempt of the subconscious to push the client to the important realization that it is impossible by the way "good girls" to isolate themselves from the "dangers" of life. Because a good girl strives to be the "good life" where everything is good and nice, and she does everything as she says a significant person (mother, father, and later husband, boss, girlfriend, etc.).
But still inside there is a feeling that it is doing something is doing wrong or not good enough and so the life around is not so good, what she deserves. And the girl even more I start to get attached to the fulfillment of your list of qualities and deeds the good girls, which she thinks will help her get the desired result. Refusing to look at the big picture, it is even more obscured from the outside world by a barrier like the Chinese wall and had no other opportunities to solve problems or deal with difficulties. Accumulated stress, and it seeks out that in the case of my client, I found the roaches at Bay.
Cockroaches are ubiquitous as small or large inconsistencies with our ideal view of life, you can sit in the "glass", afraid to trust and start close contact with myself and the people around you, and you can see the beauty and brightness of life without the cliche "good girl" and take a chance to be different!
Such plants roots from early childhood, when children's has its own special logic at this time, the client has a bunch of "I'm safe until I'm good! I'm good until I do what is expected of me and not cause trouble (and most likely not show aggression)". Later, they enlarged and formed in those ligaments, which were found by the client in the beginning.
As you know, in my childhood, when we are told what to do and how to be, to adapt to and comply with just BUT with age, accumulate your ideas about what you should be in the eyes of other people (though this is often not true) and start throwing between us and them "cockroaches"!
As you know, children's solutions, the client does not remember, and then change it herself by force of will or perseverance can not. Resulting fear escalated into a stupor and demanded outside help.
Be yourself and listen to your intuitive desires and aspirations!!! Be happy!
*EMDR is an acronym for Desensitization and Reprocessing of Trauma Eye Movements — a method of working with trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder, work situations, by reducing the emotional response to the situation in the past. Anyone interested here is the link to Wikipedia https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%94%D0%B5%D1%81%D0%B5%D0%BD%D1%81%D0%B8%D0%B1%D0%B8%D0%BB%D0%B8%D0%B7%D0%B0%D1%86%D0%B8%D1%8F_%D0%B8_%D0%BF%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%B1%D0%BE%D1%82%D0%BA%D0%B0_%D0%B4%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B6%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5%D0%BC_%D0%B3%D0%BB%D0%B0%D0%B7
**https://vk.com/id9695538?z=article_edit9695538_3900
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