Teen 14 years since the first class was a struggle. This year refused. We insist to went: in a child's life should be a sport. With the band he's always had problems, but explosions in the relationship was not there. Why refuses, so many years trained, do not mind the time and effort? What to do, how to convince him to return to the section?
explanation of why this is so, there may be several. br>
the Boy is now a teenager. The essence of this period the formation of identity, the search for the answer to the question: who am I? It is a long and difficult path. To overcome it through denial, probably easier than any other way. Let me explain my thoughts. br>
the Section selected for a long time, not chosen them. Now, besides experiencing group discomfort, the son says to himself - this is not my initiative, not my sport, not my way - this for me was an arranged marriage. To understand what can choose I need to free up space, get rid imposed, or that seem to be imposed. So the son refuses section. br>
Another possible explanation may indicate that there is a check of the parent system on congruence and authenticity. This means that the son can check how the words parents with deeds. For example, if the son regularly hears that he is now grown up, have to answer for their decisions should be independent... But the thing is that space adequate for their own decisions, he does not see. Then throwing a trial balloon - refuse section, will make my own decision... and look at the reaction of the parents. br>
the Third variant suggests that the son conflict in the group. He does not feel able to deal with the situation, and to involve adults considers a sign of weakness. br>
This options lying on the surface. Certainly another possible explanation. br>
What to do in the circumstances depends on the perception of the situation and the objectives pursued. br>
the First thing to do is to decide how You understand what is happening, think about it, what conclusions do. It is possible for a basis to take one of my explanations. You listening to yourself, talking with a child and other adults involved in his upbringing to form your own opinions. br>
The simplest way is to assume conflict within the section. Then it makes sense to calmly and thoroughly talk to the son, to offer him the help. br>
If it is the search itself - the first conversation is to build in line: well, fight or not, and what you want? What do you care? What can I do to help? Share your concerns and desires to me, to be honest ,it would be good if you practiced. Then I would know exactly what you can do to stand up for yourself, you have good company, you work on your fitness...
Carefully and quietly listen to the son. This is the most difficult because to say it is completely outrageous from the point of view of our adult common sense things. However, the efforts will be rewarded if contact occurs, he will contribute to the development of a trusting relationship between You.