We all make mistakes in relationships, and do things that hurt our loved ones. Yes, of course we try to avoid it, but still it happens. And it is very important to be able to admit their mistakes, and be able to ask for forgiveness. Do not assume that if you have a close relationship, then intends to cause pain, we could not, by definition, and therefore "nothing to take offense at me, I'm here, with you." A close person is very important to hear the request for forgiveness. If you apologize, it means you're important, you mean, with you don't want to lose, and there is reason to believe that the next time you go. Of course, there are parting, "I'm sorry, but I'm leaving", but now is not about them. How to apologize to a loved one, especially if you have offended or made a mistake, as much as possible to mitigate the effects of its incorrect or awkward behavior?
On the physical and emotional violence, we are not talking at all, because this, in principle, should not be the slightest tolerance for it. People not to trust us their thoughts and feelings, not to let others in his life that he was forced to defend himself from the one from whom he craves love and respect, deserves it and has every right to it. Aggression is destructive to relationships, it is necessary to completely eliminate, because the boundaries have a tendency to spread up to very sad consequences.
In some situations, loving person he is willing to forgive us, but respecting yourself, can not afford to have its borders again and again was broken, causing him pain.
How better to beg forgiveness, to have contributed to saving the relationship?
We really don't like to face the fact that our whole being resists. I want to make excuses, to refer to unfortunate external circumstances and other people in General. But this nullifies the benefit of an apology. Therefore, it is necessary to articulate aloud their mistake and take responsibility.
And no jokes and the depreciation situation and, moreover, shifting responsibility onto the offended. "I'm sorry, let's make it up, it's such bullshit. Are you so often offended lately, I'm afraid to say the word, you probably took ozverin" Such promises even more hurt Your loved one. It is a psychological protection that we want to do his guilt in the eyes of close people less and keep your self esteem intact.
the theatre wringing his hands and showing all his views, and even voicing how You suffer and suffer because of the incident. This is similar to conscious or unconscious manipulation in which You force the man to feel sorry for You and switch from resentment to empathy to Your "unbearable" suffering.
And here it is important to show your empathy, and to Express regret about the incident. In this part of the apology we can show people how much we value our relationship with him, and he remain close and loving, despite any misunderstanding, inattention or a careless word, a mistake.
understanding and explanation of the reasons for the recent increases loyalty of the listener apology. It indicates that the person is not only willing to save the relationship, but thinking about why it happened and how to prevent this in the future.
If You can then please Your loved one, to reimburse the injury caused to him, do it. You have touched some of his pain, a string in his soul, You made him feel unloved, insignificant, somehow contributed to a decrease in their self esteem can be physically destroyed something important to him (e.g., accidentally erased important files in a shared computer or broke your favorite vase). If there is at least some opportunity to eliminate the consequences (to recover the files, for example), it is Your bounden duty to do it as soon as possible. If such opportunity does not exist (in the case of a vase, for example , it is possible to do something nice in some other sphere. In case of causing of moral harm it is necessary to understand what kind of feeling hurt humans, and there can be "shed balm". If this feeling of importance, give it to a loved one. If he started to doubt Your love, think of what can we do to make him feel how much You love him. "5 love languages" reread if confused. Will be very useful, not only in order to beg forgiveness.
a Mandatory condition of all these measures – absolute sincerity, otherwise such apology will do nothing to the relationship, and will only aggravate the situation.
And, of course, Your loved one rightly believes that You have concluded and do follow through with your promises and be careful, more careful, thoughtful, and will do everything possible to incident the episode is not repeated. But if You just got a pardon because You were late for 15 minutes (30 times in the last month), and agreed that if You are late, You will always get a warning and the next day You again without warning half an hour late, this time to forgiveness You will be much more difficult. Promise something – do it, as it was not hard to readjust.
take care of Your relationship, try not to hurt a friend, and is related to mitigation of the pain in all seriousness, if it happened.
!
