Today we will examine is not unambiguous subject – infantilism.
the Term "immaturity" comes from the word "infant".
From Wikipedia:
OldNT female form oldNTA (Spanish infante, the port. infant, from lat. infans child) — title of all princes and princesses of the Royal house of Spain and Portugal (before the elimination of the Portuguese monarchy in 1910).
Infantilism (from lat. infantilis — children's) — immaturity in the development, the preservation of the physical appearance or behavior traits of previous age levels.
In a figurative sense, infantilism (immaturity) — the manifestation of the naive approach in life, in politics, in relationships, etc.
For a more complete picture it is necessary to note that infantilism is mental and psychological. And the main difference is not the outward manifestation and causes. The external manifestation of mental and psychological infantilism similar and they are expressed in the manifestation of children's traits in behavior, in thinking, in emotional reactions.
to understand the difference between mental and psychological infantilism is necessary to understand the causes.
Psychic infantilism.
It is caused by the backlog and delays in the child's mind. In other words there is a delay of identity formation are caused by a developmental delay in emotional and volitional spheres. The emotional-volitional sphere is the base on which to build identity. Not having such a base, people in the principle cannot to grow up and at any age remains the "eternal" child.
Here it must be mentioned that infantile children differ from retarded or autistic. Mental sphere they can be developed, they may have a high level of abstract-logical thinking, able to apply their knowledge, to be intelligent and independent.
Mental infantilism impossible to identify in early childhood, it can be seen only when the child's school or adolescence begin to dominate the slot the educational interests. In other words, the child's interest is limited to only games and fantasies, all that goes beyond this world, not accepted, not examined and perceived as something imposed from outside unpleasant, difficult, alien. Behavior becomes primitive and predictable, from any disciplinary requirements more goes in the world of games and fantasies. Over time, this leads to problems of social adaptation.
As an example, the child may spend hours playing on the computer, sincerely not understanding why you need to brush your teeth, make the bed, to go to school. Everything outside of the game is alien, unnecessary, incomprehensible.
it Should be noted that in infantilism man who was born normal, can be blame parents. A frivolous attitude to the child in childhood, the ban on making independent decisions to a teenager, a permanent restriction on his freedom just leads lack emotional-volitional sphere.
Psychological infantilism.
psychological infantilism child has a healthy, no backorder, the psyche. It may satisfy their development age, but in practice it does not happen, because for some reasons chooses to conduct the role of a child.
In General, the main difference between the mental infantilism from a psychological can be expressed as:
Mental infantilism: cannot, even if you want.
Psychological infantilism: do not want, even if you can.
the General theory is clear. Now more specifically.
- appears.
- As shown.
- looks Like.
- What to do.
appears.
According to psychologists, immaturity is not an innate quality, and acquired through education. So what do parents and carers that the child grows infantile?
Again, according to psychologists, infantilism develops in the period from 8 to 12 years. We will not dispute, but simply observe as it happens.
In the period from 8 to 12 years the child can already take responsibility for their actions. But in order for the child began to take independent actions, it is necessary to trust. Exactly here lies the main "evil", which leads to immaturity.
Here are some examples of education of immaturity:
"you don't Have to write an essay? I will help, I used to be good at writing essays," says the mother.
"I'd better know how!"
"listen to mom, and you all will be well."
"What you can have your say!"
"I said, so be it!"
"you have your Hands not from that place grow!"
"Yes, you always do not like people".
"stand back, I'll do it."
"Well, of course, that he will not undertake, everything will break!"
So gradually parents put a program in their children. Some children, of course, go contrary to, and will do on its own, but may obtain such pressure that the desire to do anything at all will disappear, and forever.
over the years, the child may believe in the rightness of parents, he's a loser that he can't do anything right, and that is much better it can make other. And if there is a suppression of feelings and emotions, a child never will never meet, and then his emotional sphere is not developed.
"You have me here to cry!"
"why are You yelling? Hurt? We must tolerate".
"Boys never cry!"
"What are you yelling like crazy".
All this can be described with this phrase: "Child, let us live." Unfortunately, this basic requirement of parents to children, to be quiet, obedient and not to interfere. So why then be surprised that the infantilism of the polls.
By and large, parents are unconsciously repressing the child, and will and feelings.
This is one of the options. But there are others. For example, when a mother is raising a son (or daughter). She starts to take care of the child more than he needs. She wants to grow up to some very well known, to prove to the world what he is a talent, so her mother could fit. Keyword – the mother could be proud of. In this case, the child and I think the main thing to satisfy their ambitions. This Mama will gladly find for your child a task that will be to his liking, put in all this effort and money, and all the difficulties that can arise during such a passion, I assume. Here and grow talented, but nowhere adapted children. Well, then if you are a woman who wants to serve this talent. And if not? And if so would that talent, then there is essentially no. I guess that waiting for such a child in your life? A mother will grieve, "Well, why I have it like that! I've made for him!". Yes, not for him, and FOR HIM, that's why he is such.
Another example, when parents are not prepared soul in your child. Since childhood, he only hears how great he is, how talented, how clever and all that. Self-esteem of the child becomes so high that he is sure worth more than that just does not make any of labor to do more to achieve. Parents do everything does and will be a delight to watch as he breaks toys (he is so curious), how it hurts kids in the yard (he is strong), etc. And when faced with real difficulties in life, he will blow like a bubble.
Another very striking example of the origin of infantile, violent divorce of parents when the child feels unwanted. Parents find out the relationship between themselves and the hostage of these relations becomes a child. All the strength and energy of parents is directed to "annoy" the other side. The child does not understand what is really going on and often starts to take on responsibility – dad left because of me, I was a bad son (daughter). This burden becomes excessive and there is a suppression of the emotional sphere, when the child does not understand what is happening to him, and next there is the adult who would help him to understand himself and what is happening. The child begins to "withdraw" and withdraw and live in their own world where they feel comfortable and good. The real world is presented as something scary, evil and unacceptable.
I think that you yourself can cite many such examples, and maybe even recognize yourself or your parents. Any result of education, which leads to the suppression of emotional-volitional sphere, leads to infantilism.
Just do not rush to blame their parents. It is very convenient and it is also one of the manifestations of immaturity. Better see what you're doing with your children. You know, to educate a person, to need to be a person. And to grow a conscious child, it is necessary that the parents were aware. But is it really? Not whether you their children irritation for their unresolved problems (suppression of the emotional sphere)? If you're trying to impose on children a vision for their life (suppression volitional)?
We are unconsciously committed the same mistakes our parents, and if we are not aware of them, our children will make the same mistakes in raising their kids. Alas, it is.
once again, for understanding:
Mental infantilism is an undeveloped emotional-volitional sphere;
Psychological infantilism – suppressed emotionally-volitional sphere.
to be Continued...
sincerely,
Tatyana Ushakova.
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