All probably heard about the comfort zone...And whether it is actually a comfortable zone? When confronted by a consultation with this concept, understand that it is hard to call comfortable, I'd give her another concept - the "usual area of residence." Yes, it is the name somehow suggests. It's not about that comfort zone that you like. No problem, when You are quite satisfied with their lives, work, family, environment, relationships, profession or business in which You engage. And in General You are satisfied. The question about the "familiar zone", in which the person lives, I would say, lives and abides, and that it does not like something, or someone, but it doesn't change anything, or afraid to change, for one reason or another. Each of these reasons:
- fear of the unknown (I do not know what will happen if I get divorced, change jobs, move to another city, away from parents, will refuse to communicate with people who are not pleasant to me etc. and everything is familiar and habitual);
- the person in the position of "victim" (sorry, don't need to make a decision and take responsibility for your life and actions in it);
- fear, that will condemn the parents, friends, colleagues ("if you dream high, sit and stay down!", "Everything is live, so what?!", "What the neighbors will say?! Do not disgrace!", "A normal profession (educator, teacher, etc.)-warm, dry, sweet deal for women!");
- limiting beliefs of the person ("Marry (marry) only once and for life", "That's when I meet a man, then live happily" "He is lucky to be born in a rich family, and I don't have such opportunities", "we do Not live lavishly nothing to start"), etc.
- the feeling of shame, that will be more successful in the eyes of other people ("I am ashamed and embarrassed that I am more successful, than a brother");
- faith ("God suffered and to us ordered!", "The will of God.") br>
- lack of motivation, or understanding of what you want ("something does not suit, but don't know what I want and where to start"). br>
Familiar?
Not terribly so. Scared to live your life, afraid to live unsatisfied and nervous state, afraid to look back and realize that life is in vain, afraid to do their own work and to take my place under the sun, terrible to endure beatings and humiliation and at the same time afraid of divorce, afraid to do using not want, but need...
Why is everything terrible? Because people live inferior lives, not full chest breathing, is not completely happy...And half happy to be impossible.
I am convinced that everyone has the right to happiness, must be happy!
How to do it?
- Realizing that You are stuck in the comfort zone, you need to act. For You, it still will not do. The wizard You only.
- ask for help to a psychologist. It will help find resources and get rid of the fear, to understand yourself and the situation. But again, start to act - it's up to You. br>
In conclusion, a great metaphor from Gennady Pavlenko, completely illustrating our behavior, when we cling to your comfort zone or in this case, the usual perception of the world. br>
"Imagine that you are in the tank. Go forward through life, watching everything that happens in the narrow observation slit. The fact that you are a tanker, already suggests that life for you - war. While in the gap it shows that people walk around. Just go. Do not fight. Fall in love, fight, work, be lazy, relax, read... As a tank, do these people look? As fools, right? But if a sniper from the roof? Or infantry in the attack? What will they do in their shirt colors painted?! Therefore, it is better in the tank. Yes, it's hot. Yes, the shakes. Yes, a bit crowded, but no sniper can't reach you! And the fact that they are not, so it is only a matter of time. A time, incidentally, passes, and tank ends his life, and not having it start. Really? some, at the end of life, when he has nothing to lose, Luke still have the courage to look out, but since the time is still there, go back to your tank. There accustomed to...
there is so much there for reliable armor! Yes, it's unusual. Yes, it is terrible. Yes, everything inside is screaming - not! But it is necessary. Why do I need? Why is it necessary? Because... well, as it is a pity such a cool life in the tank to hold. Why is it necessary? Because there, behind the armor - I WONDER!"
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