first, let's clarify what the "request".
Most commonly, a request to the psychologist understand the complaints, desires, problems, something that I want to get from therapy, something to which a person wants to work. You can see more here in this article https://www.b17.ru/blog/62689/ And it's all true.
But let's look at the query in some other way.
so, when there are complaints, desires, and everything else? Remember, when you want something? Well, for example when you want to drink? Yes - when there is not enough water in the body, there is an unmet need and then there is the desire. And you can even start to complain about that here, I want water, and no, or some it's not extinct in our time normal water!
And this is the first part of the query - the presence of unmet need.
Let's fantasize and imagine that man has such an unmet need in the water, but at the moment he is still.. well, for example, running away from a saber-toothed tiger. He will have a query about the water? Unlikely, because there is a more urgent need. And to satisfy their desire to drink - just not the time.
And then we see the second part of the query opportunity, readiness to meet this need.
And now let us remember this phrase from the title (which I hear often): "I went to counseling, but I don't have a request." Of course, those who say so, to the consultation do not go.
do you think the person who says this phrase, there is an unmet need? I think Yes, there is a desire to change something in your life. But does he have the willingness to meet this need? It seems - not really..
Why? That way?
And let's remember that usually hinder us to do what we want? Well, except saber-toothed tiger?))
most Often it is fear and all other feelings which, so to say, "next." Shame, for example. After all scared to tell the other person that in life something's wrong.. what a shame..
employees and walk, to stand, to try to fit in, to want, but not to do it until you overcome your fear, strong-willed effort, having made the decision to change. Or until the desire becomes unbearable, so that even then it won't matter - there feel ashamed or scared.
So, if you do say this phrase, you should know that this is not a request there, and not enough determination. For some reason it's easier to leave it as is (even if it's painful and uncomfortable) than to change something. And this, of course, your choice, you have every right not to change anything. It's your life.
But if you feel that you are ready to change, if you have the decision to change your life, even if it is not clear how it is this to the psychologist and go. You can say - "you want something, but can't figure out what I want to deal with it". This is also the psychologist's job to help you understand and formulate what you really want. This is the first step of therapy.
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