Your feelings like a sensitive friend who informs you about the situation requiring a response. Feelings as an envelope which contains the message – it is necessary to recognise and decipher. Even the most negative feelings can be good if you respond to them as important messages relating to your needs. Not catching the signals, you miss the opportunity to change their actions in a similar situation, when the feeling arises again.
Wine. Guilt says that you violated your personal moral rules and you should insure against similar occurrences in the future. If you don't get the message that violated its own standards, you are depriving yourself of feedback needed to ensure compliance of your actions to your beliefs.
the First thing you need to do is "catch" the time of the appearance of guilt in a particular situation. With respect and gratitude, acknowledge that guilt informs you of a personal violation of moral rules and the need to protect ourselves from such incidents in the future. Armed with a sense of curiosity, evaluate whether conservation breached the standard. If not, you can update it to change or discard.
Sometimes it happens that the standards that you follow, and the breach of which feel guilty, not worth for them to cling to. For example, a woman who from childhood were taught that its main purpose is to maintain the home may experience guilt when building their own career. After some time, given the changing realities of the world and their achievements in the professional field, she might regard this belief as no longer corresponding to its values and principles. In fact, it can open their eyes to something I never considered him worthy, but just BC he tried to implement it in his ostentatious behavior.
In another situation you can come to the conclusion that the standard is still worth keeping. And then the guilt when it is violated it is appropriate. It is also appropriate to use this uncomfortable feeling in the future, to awaken a desire to ensure that you meet this standard in the future.
Alarm. In the first stage the most important thing is to recognize the presence of alarms, to identify that very feeling. You must also realize that the alarm notifies you about certain future events, which should be better prepared.
the second step is to evaluate what you need to do to better prepare for different situations. It may be gathering information to fill the gaps in the picture of the future, constructing or acquiring certain skills or goal setting, focused on positively worded result.
If you already have experience in overcoming similar situations, just remember what steps did you take, think about your skills and abilities that helped to achieve success and to solve your problem.
Another way of coping with anxiety is to imagine you in the future faced with a threat or problem. Scroll to the specific steps and actions, rehearse them until until you feel the strength and ability to cope with the situation.
Adequate preparation can mean the extraction or acquisition of specific skills needed for a decent meeting with what you have. For example, you are experiencing anxiety in connection with a planned public speech. If drafting a plan, the selection and structuring of the material – it is already familiar to you, you can learn this skill and easy to get to work. If this skill is not formed, it is helpful to involve someone from outside, who would you were taught. Adequate preparation for the presentation may consist in the formulation of the question, you perform certain exercises on interaction with the audience, reading thematic books and so on.
Finally, adequate preparation may mean changing negatively worded positive result. The source of your anxiety can be a negative image of the future, such as: "I fail" "I'll look like a fool" or "With this development I can't cope with the situation." Such thoughts do not allow you to think rationally and not to take those steps that can really help you successfully get out of the situation. A positive image of the future sets a different direction. The knowledge of what you want to come, soothes much better than knowing what you don't want to come. Also, if you know what to achieve, you will understand how to do it.
the value of the alarm lies in its provision of feedback. When this feedback goes unrecognized, anxiety becomes unpleasant, even paralyzing experience. But after you "catch" that feeling, recognized it, thanked him for the signal, then it is possible to move from despair to confidence and readiness to meet you on the impending situation. This positive emotional state frees up your internal resources and behavior, motivating you to act and not to wait, while all the time anxious.
Sorry. a Feeling of regret telling you about that particular situation in the past you could or should have done otherwise than he did. It notifies you of the need to take some steps to protect yourself from repeating the same mistakes in the future. Whatever you were sorry, and as painful as it may be, it is important to realize that this feeling is letting you know about the perfect mistake. Try to evaluate your mistake, in terms of actions you could take to avoid it.
Try to remember about the already committed errors (erstwhile sources of regret) that you have, knowing what you need to do. Use these examples as the basis for the acquisition of inner peace.
Then try to imagine a future situation in which you do as outlined for the situation, causing a feeling of regret. Scroll through this situation several times, live it – it will help to be filled with confidence in their own abilities to realize the "true" scenario in the future. This Daisy chain allows you to cope with feelings of regret and allows you to redirect attention to other important things. In this situation, valuable is the deviation from the usual pattern of regret for the committed actions, which only affects health, and the acquisition of new skills that are gradually integrated into your life.
Even the most unpleasant feelings are helpful if you respond to them as important signals about your needs. Trust yourself and your feelings.
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