As written by R. Fisher, is a very important human need. If you want to reach an agreement, find common ground and the opportunity to cooperate, we first need to understand the value of the other. Generally seems to achieve success in the negotiations it is necessary to fill the opponent's iron arguments, to paint him a sky with diamonds, and tell that he will lose, if you do not agree to our terms. While we don't care that actually have different, it is important for us to get their and it's called succeed.
Remember, did you have the feeling that the more "sprayed" the man, the more there is a desire to give back and to question his "offer you can't refuse". I still remember how djadechki "dropped visor," when I uttered the phrase, trying to sign a Treaty on very favorable terms. Needless to say, sign anything that was not possible, and the rest of the conversation, the man told me, who are realtors. The experience was.
Well. Let us return to our sheep. To establish rapport, you should be able listen; to listen to what, as to what intonations tells the man what he was focusing and what message is trying to convey. To establish this rapport, and in Russian — understanding, need to articulate and make it clear that you value and respect the opinion of the other side. It is very important that it was sincere, and assessment may sound ambiguous. For example; — "I appreciate your desire to buy a boat, because the rest is very important for everyone. You always wanted to ride on the Volga", instead of sarcasm, "of Course, the boat is very important, because we have no other problems."
the Fact that you gave a positive rating does not mean that you agree or concede, it means that you understand and heard of the value of the other, respect his thoughts and desires. Then you can continue the discussion and offer suggestions. When we immediately appreciate the proposal of the other, and reach agreement virtually impossible. we will continue to talk (yell) about our trying to punch a hole in the brain to any means to put their priorities.
When we are appreciated, we want to cooperate, we feel more comfortable. When you enter into negotiations, the result of which are important to you, be ready to listen. Because if we close our ears to other people's opinions, where is the guarantee that the opposing party does not use ear plugs?
