it so Happens that relatives or even very close people are asking for something that does well, we don't want to do. Fulfilling their request, we turn back to him. And at this moment you feel irritated, bored, or tired, because you spend for it the forces and energy that could be spent on something more important.
the eco-friendly Inability to refuse, to say a firm "no" causes a storm of emotions: fear, shame, guilt also appear intracta childhood: "people need help", "it is impossible to deny ones".
it is important to give yourself permission to choose! "I can help if I have the strength, desire, resources, opportunities". "I can not help, if there is fatigue, irritation, more meaningful for me".
Many of my clients come to that rational conclusion, but when it comes to practice life again becomes difficult and often impossible. br>
What I propose in such cases? TO CONDUCT AN EXPERIMENT! br>
Say, and let's make an experiment. You will be able to go beyond the boundaries that limit the manifestation of your personality and see what happens. To refuse, to say "no" and watch what will happen with your:
- thoughts
.
- bodily sensation.
the Most important thing here is not to assess themselves, to avoid internal language: "I'm ... ungrateful, refused her husband, mom, neighbor..." or "I'm good, was able to choose myself."
Try to avoid any assessment of his personality. You just need to notice what you are doing and see what happens. Imagine that you are a great scientist and explore the unique natural phenomenon.
during the experiment, it is necessary to abandon evaluations and attempts to change something. Just watch how you sit, walk, breathe, see. Observe the sensations in the body and feelings. If you begin to assess impartially observe, "I now appreciate myself." the
mentally Take the role of experimenter!
Watch yourself!
for Example: "I feel shame, what it looks like, how big is he, what he tells me? Or feel stiffness in the shoulders, even when I have such feelings? As I is uncomfortable? What I want to do?"
!
