grieving
about the loss of a loved one. PART 1
If You're grieving, give You a piece of warmth from their soul. Let You become a little bit easier. Now take cover before reading anything. Let the plaid, blanket or summer sheet will hug You.
Well. Now is a good reading!
Parting with friends – part of every person's life. It is painless (when the deceased did not have good feelings), but sometimes the mountain has been delayed for years. And it's very hard and very sorrowful, and all around him. To experience negative feelings in the period of mourning is quite natural. But it is quite another thing to be in mourning (and depression!) years. This article is for those who understand that to get out of sadness is necessary, but have difficulties to do it yourself. Here's help for You.
In my opinion, one of the goals of our psyche, when the mountain is delayed, is the intent to remember the love for the deceased to live a relationship with him. However, think about it, because to remember the loss of a loved can with light feelings. And so, more enjoyable, to have contact with him. Maybe not fast, but once, allow yourself a light mental "communication" with the departed out of this world man.
Let yourself "breathe" between exacerbations of grief. When very painful, but next to no support, hold so became easier. This is normal. Just psychological self-help method.
getting help close (cleaning, cooking, money, moral support, etc.). Even if You think that all this is not a need to give people the opportunity to participate in Your life. It is also might be important.
of Course, at first You may not be quite up to what. Not to harvest, raising children and so on. But gradually turn around to return to the normal everyday worries. Not zavolakivaya his life. Especially if You have kids or animals, You need to take care of.
Often tune into the ordinary life of a grieving helps the idea that the departed do not like the long suffering loved ones. You would like to see You crying for the rest of my life? No? Then be distracted from this theme! Let yourself stay and joy when it comes to You. Smile to the child who gives You their crafts. Allow yourself to laugh when someone's funny joke. don't suppress the positive emotions. It would be a bad habit to totally grieve.
However, on the other hand, and don't force yourself to be cheerful (Oh). Act natural. Don't push yourself. If Your family ready your feasts, and You don't force yourself, don't make fun.
If You have taken the decision returned to a normal life, do it gradual. Getting out of bed, say to yourself something like: "I just go make myself buckwheat," and then: "Good, you're already starting to cook"!.. If able to go to work, resume work. This will help to divert thoughts from the sad to the everyday (like a more "healthy").
Recently became acquainted with the method writing letters to the dead. I think that it is an effective way to reflect their feelings in the tribulation period. Moreover, if we allow the idea that perhaps the contents of these letters do reach the addressee.
When a person is grieving, he is, repeating the same words to the dead ("I'm sorry", "let there be okay", etc.), as it is approved by the repetition of these phrases that he heard. Method letters, may reduce the repetition and time of grief.
If you are already grieving for a very long time (over several months), think, can, You get some bonus already? For example, after crying about the past, You get more attention from loved ones? This is called secondary benefit in psychology. Then, to the mountain not dragged on for years, should to think: "how I can attract the attention of others"? Find this another way and free myself from the need to be in sorrow too long a period.
Customers who to the treatment to me grieved few or even 10 years, were fixated on the experience of loss because before loss did not live a very interesting life. It often occurs in people with disabilities. If you are already painful to grieve, , look at your past interests or start to learn something new. Fill your life with Life. Think right now what exactly?
In my practice, I noticed that the inability to let go of things and the inability to let go of in moral terms, from the deceased itself close connected. I had a client who couldn't even with old ball point pens to leave. She was afraid before coming to me for more than 10 years. Let yourself be deprived of the deceased. He was ALREADY gone. Release! say Goodbye.
Another parallel I noticed. Customers who grieved for loved ones of a few years or more, had obvious deformation of the hands (the body, which is designed to perform in a number of other function holding! something). Deformation of these had the innate character and acquired in the process of grief. take care of your beauty and health.
When there was my mom, helped me and perform the necessary ritual actions. I read the service while the mother is buried, a prayer over it, then prayed, went to my dad's for 9 days... 9 days left at work but prayed, going to a secluded place. Easier.
If You need someone to talk to about the incident (close tired of this communication or You're alone), You can go to a psychologist, even if You just need someone to talk to, and not something to change in my life and myself.
My contacts: 8-918-779-05-99 (+ WhatsApp) in Stavropol and Nevinnomyssk
Skype: psihologldolgenko
Tomorrow will be released the 2nd part of the article on this topic. Subscribe on my publications not to miss!
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