the Man is so constituted that one way or another seeking confirmation of its significance, that he needed love in the eyes of another and, at times, reflected in the eyes of different important other it receives the reflection of himself that he was not satisfied, do not give confidence and peace, creating a false image I by removing the person from his feelings.
In this case, the man is difficult to answer the question "Who am I", more precisely, it can give thousands of answers – those that he aired other, but never met them. Finding no answer, this person again and again will set off in search of yourself, choosing from the values that he was offered.
It looks like dozens of mirrors and see (and hear) dozens of reflections, not knowing who he really is.
There are two concepts of ideal self and real self and the formation of these I am greatly influenced by the environment of the person.
I-ideal is what a person would like to be, and I'm real it is what it is.
If there is too large a gap, then a conflict occurs.
I-ideal in a sense, childhood dream, which in some cases is the goal and I must say, there are examples of people who made it a reality.
As mentioned above, I am real can prove to be unstable if a child received many conflicting messages.
he Got a conflicting view of themselves and such a person, as if blown to pieces that he can not put together.
Those "names" that he had been given in childhood, and making it with different colour (both negative and positive) are part of his personality, forming a depressing contradiction.
In this case, the person is difficult to accept a particular identity.
Man rejects these parts of yourself as an alien, trying among the "rubble" to find your own.
this is Especially difficult for those who have experienced narcissistic abuse, because identification with the aggressor is unacceptable, and identification with the victim results in the past and the circle is closed.
Narcissus is typical For depreciation and many of them depreciate using nicknames, nicknames, common names.
Or, many parents like to tell their children "you're just like me" or "just like your father / mother". In the latter case often this statement is a negative color, if parents are in conflict. Same messages in childhood can be heard in the address of the mother-in-law/father-in-law or father-in-law/mother-in-law, which for a child are your favorite(oops) grandfather or grandmother.
in humans, the head is formed by the distortion, because he loves grandma / grandpa, and suddenly he broadcast that he / she is a bad mother-in-law / father-in-law.
Yes, and the child receiving the name is lost in who he is. Especially tragic the consequences can have a situation of devaluation, when the "household name" was perceived by the child as something it produce, and later, he learns his real value with derogatory color.
here is an example from my childhood of the woman senior cousin in my childhood was called "Quasimodo" than the girl was very proud of.
Imagine her disappointment when she learned his true value!
Say "As you a boat name, so it will float!".
But the expression is not only about the boat. It is true for a person who, by the way, much more sensitive than the boat!
so, called the person names with different values, it creates a contradiction, not giving him to determine his true self.
the solution of the contradictions can be the name that you give to yourself, or in other words, people can create within themselves a mirror reflection in which he will feel confidence and satisfaction.
Such a mirror a person can create, praising themselves for their work and forming their opinions about themselves, himself, assessing and shaping their self-esteem that is not dependent on the opinions of others.
Once in the Kingdom of crooked mirrors, the person can find their true reflection!
There is a hard way to change yourself, the environment, profession, becoming a loved ones new surroundings or to "fasten" the reality is, becoming closer to those around the person "here and now".
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