it is said that the most unselfish relationship can be destroyed by money. And what could be disinterested relations between parents and child? He has matured and has become quite independent, but mom and dad always ready to help.
Should parents financially support adult children or should I abandon it?
On the subject of "Leider" I talked with the founder and head Dating "Classics relations", a family psychologist and writer Olga Romaniv.
Olga Romaniv
On the question to give borrowed money to adult children or to help free of charge, a simple answer is impossible, because everything depends on the situation and the relationship "parents — rebenok".
Bezvozmezdno• Parents can help grown-up child money and not ask for them back when the money is directed, for example, help grandchildren. Today, the development of a child requires considerable financial investment: clothing and footwear, nutrition, wheelchair and walkers at an early age and educational groups in the kindergarten and primary school. Very often parents become grandparents, it is important not only in the process of education, but also in the form of material component.
• Another case where the parents money is transferred to the gratuitous use adult children — health problems or the death of spouse child. In these difficult and tragic situations, the help of parents is very important, because to cope on their own adult child with these problems can be very difficult, no matter how well he may have earned.
Debt obligations to parents imply more money.
the Parents helped the child to stand up — given a good education, helped to find their way. Further, it would seem, is still waiting for financial assistance from the child.
But there are times when parents again ready to help. This can be buying a car or apartment, starting a new project, the opening of your business.
When the grown-up child wants to start something of their own, but without going to the Bank, parents can pomocy.
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the child must be respect for parents, gratitude for their support and understanding that this money is necessary to them not less than he.
to Remove the allowanceit is necessary to tell about spoiled children, who as adults, are accustomed to live on all ready, using the parents ' money. It's the parasites, the drones or "majors" who don't want to live and earn independently, they feel comfortable in providing parents and shamelessly use them sredstvami.
to avoid this, in the childhood the child should be taught to work, respect for elders, to foster a responsive decent person, a decent citizen of society and not engage in the condoning, landing him on his neck.
If the error in education was made, and today the parents have to pay for them both literally and figuratively, to change the situation, just removing adult child from the allowance.
Your child is an adult and should not be an eternal burden. You've given him everything he could give, then he needs to go his own way, to develop and grow, to create a family and to help you.
Photo: Shutterstock/VOSTOCK
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