In the world geopolitical arena for thousands of years, we have seen how the vast majority of cases respect the powerful and despise the weak state. Victorious battle chant, and the loser devalue and often quickly forgotten. Life of starving Africans somehow less valued (on a subconscious level) than the lives of average Europeans, their deaths have little to say to the media. Life of the poor, under-recognition are valued less than the lives of the rich and powerful. To the lives of animals observed the same attitude. Nobody cares that the slaughter is done is very cruel, barbaric, painful method, which for myself none of you would have wished. Chauvinism eloquently displays this same phenomenon. This kind of pyramid exists in society for a long time. There is a certain hierarchy of importance in society and in fact we all are not so equal...
When people enter into interpersonal relationships, they often demand respect. Why require? Because they do not respect or do not respect as they would like. Why they are not respected? Let us explain... first, think and ask yourself the question what kind of people respect you personally? Not inside your head and not in the framework of the social game "I — I", but in reality.
Someone will answer good... good people are a loose concept. Goodness and kindness from weakness are two different kindness. Kind and strong man may seem evil to those people who are acting unjustly against him or others. He will defend your values and boundaries. A good man weakness will be sweet, suffering, sympathetic, but most often useless and driven more brash brethren. He will be silent, to adapt, because he is afraid to engage in conflict, cowardly, weak. Is it kindness? Beautiful people are also respected only when they are appreciated by the authorities and is able to protect itself from unwanted pretenders and envious. Wise men are considered wise only when something has reached its wisdom. Courage also not respected if she is stupid and does not bring benefit. Well on reflection we come to the conclusion that society respects strength, the company respects the mind, society respect for social competence. Society values and everything else, but only in conjunction with these three qualities.
When you go for trainings of personal growth, to a psychologist or appeal to any other way to solve the problem of adaptation in society — you should understand it. If you are the victim abusing and ask how you can be one answer: stop being a victim. Become a strong self-respecting person. Choose a circle from the position of weakness but from a position of strength. This means not to associate with bad people because you are self-sufficient and can not communicate with them. You have to shape your world. Friends, acquaintances, work, husband/wife — all this individual chooses. Thus, as Goethe wrote: "to inherit worthy only one who to life can apply inheritance." We also choose. Keep this in mind. We also need to be developed, valuable and interesting for those whom we choose.
You can develop a good skill in itself. Maybe it will not happen immediately. Sometimes it takes years. But when you learn to love yourself, you will begin to live. br>
How to get the desired respect in society?
1. Change the thoughts in my head. Thoughts with negative orientation must be replaced by thoughts with positive orientation. Remember the effect justifies expectations. Rationally evaluate people and situations. Yes, evil happens. Evil people are. In fact, you can and should respond to them. But we should not imagine evil scenarios, problems, enemies and conflicts in the mind that have not yet occurred as this is a passive-aggressive personality disorder. With such people live very poorly. They poison the soul, and destroy the psyche. Including to themselves. Believe in goodness. Beware of evil. But not Vice versa.
2. Stop to show weakness and victimization as it puts people off. Even if at the initial stage of the weak regret that later get tired of them. People do not respect the weak, not confident, whiners, fools, beggars, scoundrels, gossips, schemers, manipulators, evil, intense, cowards, whining, provoking people. These take too much time and effort, and give too little wholesome food for the development and strengthening of positions in this world. Exclude poor quality of his character and the bad people out of your life.
3. Switch to self-pity (complaints, searches, confessions, guilty) — to develop yourself. Solve their problems themselves. You want to help only when they see that you are a complete, developed personality, something to do and something strive. Whiners and complainers suck someone else's energy and resources through their manipulative mechanism so they are often rejected by society. Keep this in mind. What do you personally need to do for your happiness? br>
4. If you throw all the shells of the problems and difficulties in which you find yourself, who you are and why you live? What kind of person would like to become? Create in your mind of this man, secure his image and feel to them. Thoughts are material. You couldn't invent what is not within you. It's all the best in you. Now You are that person. Want to become a tiger learn to think like a tiger, move like a tiger. Think like the person you want to become. Act like it. Laugh like him. Joke as he is. Rejoice as he. Live as he is. Talk like him. Sacredsites in this manner until you acquire new behavioral habits and virtues.
5. Activities. Think about your goals in life. We live in a world of continuous trade and exchange of services. The people United in one single body (humanity) in one single body (our planet) to survive. Someone bakes bread, someone to grow the crops, someone sews clothing, someone who designs and builds ships... It's convenient. And what is your place in this world? I would like to engage you in an environment of constant exchange of goods and services? What can I be useful to society to be respected, supported and was grateful to you, and you were grateful? A man is defined by his actions and his activity/inactivity. Find your place in society.
6. Effect of famine or the effect of unremitting thirst. Consider the instinctive behavior of people. If the child is hungry, he asks for food and eats every last tithe. If you are full — the food is indifferent to him. But if you overfeed him, he starts spitting out food, he has no need to fight for it, to appreciate it. Similarly, in relationships. The man who does not know what to do with himself and dedicates his life to others, even if initially it was at the request, most often causes a feeling of little value. The identity should have its own vector of development, their interests, their Hobbies, their friends, and interact with other people, not to devote themselves to their own detriment.
How to understand that you can devote yourself to others? You accuse someone of ingratitude. You've been given something, perhaps with something themselves deprived, but did not receive what was expected. Got no reciprocity. Either your expectations are too high, or you enter into a bargain "I'm dedicated to you, and you be as I say." It is not correct. Do not impose yourself to others. Do not give yourself to those who have asked about it. Do not devote their lives to those who you need not who you believe who do not love you. Search for your men, your man, those who you appreciate. Looking for reciprocity. But if doing something for others or even request, if you decide to dedicate someone's life or part of their time — do it unselfishly, for myself, for my own pleasure and do not expect anything supernatural in return. Do not confuse reality and your illusion.
When You make an effort to conquer this world and curb your I — You begin to understand, respect and appreciate the meaningful people. You will understand what a gift to meet a Person and know him. You will see people developed and developed, seeking self-development and looking for anything, empty and difficult, good and evil. You will respect and appreciate because you no longer empty, useless Cup, and will become complete, integral unit of the universe.