You have decided to use the services of a psychologist or psychotherapist? Probably to cope on their own with the psychological discomfort is not possible. You decide to trust the professional.
Much has been written about how to choose your specialist as to determine the qualifications and not become a victim of manipulation. Very little is written about what happens after. Meanwhile, there are cases when after the start of therapy psychological discomfort grows, new symptoms or increase old ones. For example, was a disturbed sleep, now you sleep even worse. You have experienced a painful sense of worthlessness, and now completely lost faith in the ability to change anything. Sometimes worsen interpersonal problems: dealing with loved ones has become more difficult, you feel the distance. Sometimes even the specialist begins to cause unpleasant feelings associated with traumatic experiences. The discomfort intensifies. There is a feeling of emptiness, or fear of loss of control and insanity.
this effect has its cause. Indeed, since the beginning of the collaboration involves the establishment of a working therapeutic relationship, which can be uncomfortable and unusual for the client themselves. Let's say that no one in your environment you have NEVER been so Frank. There are reasons for the exacerbation of feelings of mistrust? Most likely, you have not discussed such a right innermost thoughts, fears and feelings. You might even alone with yourself never to pronounce it all. Sometimes it's extremely hard – to confess his unworthiness, that ‘life failed and I feel like a miserable person”, fear of communication or dislike of the closest and “favorite”, difficult to talk about the facts of ill-treatment or violence.
This is really hard! Hard truth. Even after the most careful and gentle conversation, you can experience serious discomfort. This is similar to any surgery: if without anesthesia, it hurts during and after the operation. And that hurts worse than before the treatment. And if anesthesia, then after a while the pain will return and you will experience a new discomfort. That's just therapy, no anesthesia. We are working “alive”.
However, for a person there is nothing more natural than to avoid discomfort and seek the welfare even illusory. If you experience the first painful experiences, while strengthening old psychological problems involved defense mechanisms, begins to sabotage therapy. Most often it is avoidance, less aggression, or search, depending on the therapist, trying to build relationships. It's like a desire to appease the strict parents, or to rein in the noisy neighbor.
Some have enough the first consultation, to begin to actively avoid. Psychotherapy – a lot of brave, strong and curious (like philosophy). Risk is inevitable, the condition can worsen. And it's not the method, not the qualifications of the therapist, and natural intrapersonal dynamics: alternation of processes of tension and relaxation. Avoiding a meeting with the full set of challenges of his life, we prefer the relaxation, and the therapist works on creating stress, internal imbalances when the active resolution of conflicts is necessary, because to live on is impossible.
Sometimes we hear from clients: “give me the pill, teach me what I need to do to stop suffering instantly!”. Easy ways to mental and psychological well-being does not happen. Sorry if that hurts you. Injections without a needle do not, by the imposition of hands not flying.
it Happens that, getting used to the non-adaptive behavior and the psychological difficulties a person creates something like a ‘blind spot" selective blindness to the obvious traumatic circumstances in your life. They are formulated usually through the Union «but». Can try to complete the sentence: “my life is pretty good, but…”. Then followed assumptions “errors”, which can seem quite normal. Quite differently, these assumptions look like from the side. For example: “but I yell at my children”, “but I unhappy marriage”, “but I cry at night and sometimes think about death”, “but I rarely go out and never picked up the phone”, “but I never could talk to mom about the secret”… These errors often underlie symptoms but they are actively avoided because “I know so, it is unclear how this was related to my symptoms! Anyway, I won't be able to change”.
You know those feelings? Or you as the expert meet the interpersonal dynamics in your work? How would you finished the sentence with “BUT”?
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